“He said that it had been more or less true till lately, but that now they had put fresh stained glass windows into all the banks in the country, and repaired the buildings, and enlarged the organs; the presidents, moreover, had taken to riding in omnibuses and talking nicely to people in the streets, and to remembering the ages of their children, and giving them things when they were naughty, so that all would henceforth go smoothly.
“‘But haven’t you done anything to the money itself?’ said I, timidly.
“‘It is not necessary,’ he rejoined; ‘not in the least necessary, I assure you.’”
One citation also from Butler’s novel is irresistible, particularly as it reminds one of Trollope’s practical admonition to young men contemplating matrimony. This is on the subject of domestic discipline.[215]
“To parents who wish to lead a quiet life I would say: Tell your children that they are very naughty—much naughtier than most children. Point to the young people of some acquaintances as models of perfection and impress your own children with a deep sense of their own inferiority. You carry so many more guns than they do that they cannot fight you. This is called moral influence, and it will enable you to bounce them as much as you please. * * * Say that you have their highest interests at stake whenever you are out of temper and wish to make yourself unpleasant by way of balm to your soul. Harp much upon these highest interests.”
Thackeray is placed in the group of dyed-in-the-wool ironists mainly because he does not belong in the other. One somehow acquires the impression that ironic sayings will be plentiful as blackberries; but when one actually goes berrying, he finds the crop strangely vanished. Lacking the grave, dry, imperturbable manner and the consistently preserved attitude, he cannot avoid the temptation of relapsing into the literal and giving self-conscious explanations, as in Barry Lyndon, and Catherine. This produces something of the effect of Lydgate’s ironic titles,—So as the Crabbe goeth forward, and As Straight as a Ram’s Horn,—followed by perfectly serious moralizing. Probably nothing would astonish or distress Thackeray more than to have his humor rated as the humor of Lytton, Reade, or Kingsley; nor would this indeed be quite fair to him. Yet his lack of real spontaneity classifies him with them rather than with Dickens or Trollope, and his lack of finish and subtlety prevents him from being ranked with Peacock, Eliot, Meredith or Butler. His ironic phrasing has too often the flat, shallow sound of the man determined to be clever. Such, for instance, is the comment on the plutocratic Miss Crawley:[216]
“She had a balance at the banker’s which would have made her beloved anywhere. * * * What a dignity it gives an old lady, that balance at the banker’s!”
Such also is this demolishing assault upon worldliness:[217]
“I, for my part, have known a five pound note to interpose and knock up a half century’s attachment between two brethren; and can’t but admire, as I think what a fine and durable thing Love is among worldly people.”
And this upon a shoddy noblesse oblige:[218]