WOMEN.
- Neece to Sir Perfidious, a rich and witty Heir.
- Lady Ruinous, Wife to Sir Ruinous.
- Guardianess, to Sir Perfidious his Neece, an old doting Crone.
- Mirabell, the Guardianesses Neece.
The Scene, London.
Actus Primus. Scæna Prima.
Enter Sir Perfidious Oldcraft an old Knight, and Witty-pate his Son.
Witty.
Sir, I'm no boy, I'm deep in one and twenty,
The second years approaching.
Old K. A fine time
For a youth to live by his wits then I should think,
If e'er he mean to make account of any.
Witty. Wits, Sir?
Old K. I Wits Sir, if it be so strange to thee,
I'm sorry I spent that time to get a Fool,
I might have imploy'd my pains a great deal better;
Thou knowst all that I have, I ha' got by my wits,
And yet to see how urgent thou art too;
It grieves me thou art so degenerate
To trouble me for means, I never offer'd it
My Parents from a School-boy, past nineteen once,
See what these times are grown to, before twenty
I rush'd into the world, which is indeed
Much like the Art of swiming, he that will attain to't
Must fall plump, and duck himself at first,
And that will make him hardy and advent'rous,
And not stand putting in one foot, and shiver,
And then draw t'other after, like a quake-buttock;
Well he may make a padler i'th' world,
From hand to mouth, but never a brave Swimmer,
Born up by th' chin, as I bore up my self,
With my strong industry that never fail'd me;
For he that lies born up with Patrimonies,
Looks like a long great Ass that swims with bladders,
Come but one prick of adverse fortune to him
He sinks, because he never try'd to swim
When Wit plaies with the billows that choak'd him.