Enter La-writ, and a Gentleman, at the door.
2 Cly. Now you may behold Sir,
And be a witness, whether we lie or no.
La-writ. I'le meet you at the Ordinary, sweet Gentlemen,
And if there be a wench or two—
Gen. We'll have 'em.
La-writ. No handling any Duells before I come,
We'll have no going else, I hate a coward.
Gent. There shall be nothing done.
La-writ. Make all the quarrels
You can devise before I come, and let's all fight,
There is no sport else.
Gent. We'll see what may be done, Sir.
1 Cly. Ha? Monsieur La-writ.
La-writ. Baffled in way of business,
My causes cast away, Judgement against us?
Why there it goes.
2 Cly. What shall we do the whilst Sir?
La-wr. Breed new dissentions, goe hang your selves
'Tis all one to me; I have a new trade of living.
1 Cli. Do you hear what he saies Sir?
Sam. The Gentleman speaks finely.
La-wr. Will any of you fight? Fighting's my occupation
If you find your selves aggriev'd.
Sam. A compleat Gentleman.
La-writ. Avant thou buckram budget of petitions,
Thou spittle of lame causes; I lament for thee,
And till revenge be taken—
Sam. 'Tis most excellent.
La-wr. There, every man chuse his paper, and his place.
I'le answer ye all, I will neglect no mans business
But he shall have satisfaction like a Gentleman,
The Judge may do and not do, he's but a Monsieur.
Sam. You have nothing of mine in your bag, Sir.
La-writ. I know not Sir,
But you may put any thing in, any fighting thing.
Sam. It is sufficient, you may hear hereafter.
La-writ. I rest your servant Sir.
Sam. No more words Gentlemen
But follow me, no more words as you love me,
The Gentleman's a noble Gentleman.
I shall do what I can, and then—
Cli. We thank you Sir. [Ex. Sam. and Clients.
Sam. Not a word to disturb him, he's a Gentleman.
La-writ. No cause go o' my side? the judge cast all?
And because I was honourably employed in action,
And not appear'd, pronounce? 'tis very well,
'Tis well faith, 'tis well, Judge.
Enter Cleremont.
Cler. Who have we here?
My little furious Lawyer?
La-writ. I say 'tis well,
But mark the end.
Cler. How he is metamorphos'd!
Nothing of Lawyer left, not a bit of buckram,
No solliciting face now,
This is no simple conversion.
Your servant Sir, and Friend.
La-writ. You come in time, Sir,
Cler. The happier man, to be at your command then.
La-writ. You may wonder to see me thus; but that's all one,
Time shall declare; 'tis true I was a Lawyer,
But I have mew'd that coat, I hate a Lawyer,
I talk'd much in the Court, now I hate talking,
I did you the office of a man.
Cler. I must confess it.
La-w. And budg'd not, no I budg'd not.
Cler. No, you did not.
La-w. There's it then, one good turn requires another.
Cler. Most willing Sir, I am ready at your service.
La-w. There, read, and understand, and then deliver it.
Cler. This is a Challenge, Sir,
La-w. 'Tis very like, Sir,
I seldom now write Sonnets.
Cler. O admirantis,
To Monsieur Vertaign, the President.
La-w. I chuse no Fool, Sir.
Cler. Why, he's no Sword-man, Sir.
La-w. Let him learn, let him learn,
Time, that trains Chickens up, will teach him quickly.
Cler. Why, he's a Judge, an Old Man.
La-w. Never too Old
To be a Gentleman; and he that is a Judge
Can judge best what belongs to wounded honour.
There are my griefs, he has cast away my causes,
In which he has bowed my reputation.
And therefore Judge, or no Judge.
Cler. 'Pray be rul'd Sir,
This is the maddest thing—
La-w. You will not carry it.
Cler. I do not tell you so, but if you may be perswaded.
La-w. You know how you us'd me when I would not fight,
Do you remember, Gentleman?
Cler. The Devil's in him.
La-w. I see it in your Eyes, that you dare do it,
You have a carrying face, and you shall carry it.
Cler. The least is Banishment.
La-w. Be banish'd then;
'Tis a friends part, we'll meet in Africa,
Or any part of the Earth.
Cler. Say he will not fight.
La-w. I know then what to say, take you no care, Sir,
Cler. Well, I will carry it, and deliver it,
And to morrow morning meet you in the Louver,
Till when, my service.
La-w. A Judge, or no Judge, no Judge. [Exit La-writ.
Cler. This is the prettiest Rogue that e'r I read of,
None to provoke to th' field, but the old President;
What face shall I put on? if I come in earnest,
I am sure to wear a pair of Bracelets;
This may make some sport yet, I will deliver it,
Here comes the President.
Enter Vertaign, with two Gentlemen.
Vert. I shall find time, Gentlemen,
To do your causes good, is not that Cleremont?
1 Gent. 'Tis he my Lord.
Vert. Why does he smile upon me?
Am I become ridiculous? has your fortune, Sir,
Upon my Son, made you contemn his Father?
The glory of a Gentleman is fair bearing.
Cler. Mistake me not my Lord, you shall not find that,
I come with no blown Spirit to abuse you,
I know your place and honour due unto it,
The reverence to your silver Age and Vertue.
Vert. Your face is merry still.
Cler. So is my business,
And I beseech your honour mistake me not,
I have brought you from a wild or rather Mad-man
As mad a piece of—you were wont to love mirth
In your young days, I have known your Honour woo it,
This may be made no little one, 'tis a Challenge, Sir,
Nay, start not, I beseech you, it means you no harm,
Nor any Man of Honour, or Understanding,
'Tis to steal from your serious hours a little laughter;
I am bold to bring it to your Lordship.
Vert. 'Tis to me indeed:
Do they take me for a Sword-man at these years?
Cler. 'Tis only worth your Honours Mirth, that's all Sir,
'Thad been in me else a sawcy rudeness.
Vert. From one La-writ, a very punctual Challenge.
Cler. But if your Lordship mark it, no great matter.
Vert. I have known such a wrangling Advocate,
Such a little figent thing; Oh I remember him,
A notable talking Knave, now out upon him,
Has challeng'd me downright, defied me mortally
I do remember too, I cast his Causes.
Cler. Why, there's the quarrel, Sir, the mortal quarrel.
Vert. Why, what a Knave is this? as y'are a Gentleman,
Is there no further purpose but meer mirth?
What a bold Man of War! he invites me roundly.
Cler. If there should be, I were no Gentleman,
Nor worthy of the honour of my Kindred.
And though I am sure your Lordship hates my Person,
Which Time may bring again into your favour,
Yet for the manners—
Vert. I am satisfied,
You see, Sir, I have out-liv'd those days of fighting,
And therefore cannot do him the honour to beat him my self;
But I have a Kinsman much of his ability,
His Wit and Courage, for this call him Fool,
One that will spit as senseless fire as this Fellow.
Cler. And such a man to undertake, my Lord?
Vert. Nay he's too forward; these two pitch Barrels together.
Cler. Upon my soul, no harm.
Vert. It makes me smile,
Why, what a stinking smother will they utter!
Yes, he shall undertake, Sir, as my Champion,
Since you propound it mirth, I'll venture on it,
And shall defend my cause, but as y'are honest
Sport not with bloud.
Cler. Think not so basely, good Sir.
Vert. A Squire shall wait upon you from my Kinsman,
To morrow morning make you sport at full,
You want no Subject; but no wounds.
Cler. That's my care.
Ver. And so good day. [Ex. Vertaign, and Gentlemen.
Cler. Many unto your honour.
This is a noble Fellow, of a sweet Spirit,
Now must I think how to contrive this matter,
For together they shall go.
Enter Dinant.
Din. O Cleremont,
I am glad I have found thee.
Cler. I can tell thee rare things.
Din. O, I can tell thee rarer,
Dost thou love me?
Cler. Love thee?
Din. Dost thou love me dearly?
Dar'st thou for my sake?
Cler. Any thing that's honest.
Din. Though it be dangerous?
Cler. Pox o' dangerous.
Din. Nay wondrous dangerous.
Cler. Wilt thou break my heart?
Din. Along with me then.
Cler. I must part to morrow.
Din. You shall, you shall, be faithful for this night,
And thou hast made thy friend.
Cler. Away, and talk not. [Exeunt.
Enter Lamira, and Nurse.
Lam. O Nurse, welcome, where's Dinant?
Nurse. He's at my back.
'Tis the most liberal Gentleman, this Gold
He gave me for my pains, nor can I blame you,
If you yield up the fort.
Lam. How? yield it up?
Nurse. I know not, he that loves, and gives so largely,
And a young Lord to boot, or I am cozen'd,
May enter every where.
Lam. Thou'lt make me angry.