Catastrophe, in those circumstances, was inevitable. The bold course might have led to it—for a weak woman, brought up in the fear of her neighbours, can only take a bold course at grave risks. The weak course—since the love of the heart and not merely the passion of the senses was at stake—was bound to lead to it, and did. The only question was whether the victims of the catastrophe would suffer in silence or would cry aloud; and the answer to that question, given the characters of the victims, could easily be predicted. Mary Chaworth would be silent, would make believe to the best of her ability, would wear a mask, and pose, and persuade the world that she was behaving naturally. Byron, disdaining to pretend, proclaiming the truth about his own heart even while respecting Mary’s secret—proclaiming it quite naturally though rather noisily—would appear to the world to be posing.
He did so; but before we observe him doing so, we may turn back to the Journal, and study a few more of its enigmatic passages with the help of the clues at our disposal:
“I awoke from a dream! well! and have not others dreamed? but she did not overtake me.... Ugh! how my blood chilled,—and I could not wake—and—heigho!... I do not like this dream,—I hate its ‘foregone conclusions.’”
“No letters to-day;—so much the better,—there are no answers. I must not dream again;—it spoils even reality. I will go out of doors and see what the fog will do for me.”
“Ward talks of going to Holland, and we have partly discussed an ensemble expedition.... And why not? —— is distant, and will be at ——, still more distant, till spring. No one else except Augusta cares for me; no ties—no trammels.”
“No dreams last night of the dead, nor the living; so—I am ‘firm as the marble, founded on the rock,’ till the next earthquake....
“... I am tremendously in arrear with my letters—except to ——, and to her my thoughts overpower me;—my words never compass them.”
“I believe with Clym o’ the Clow, or Robin Hood, ‘By our Mary (dear name!) thou art both mother and May, I think it never was a man’s lot to die before his day.’”
Mary Chaworth.