“I am glad to see that you are by degrees coming to your senses. You cannot but agree with me, that it is the best policy of the United States to cultivate the friendship of Great Britain. It is, I am sure, the wisest thing you can do, after having been so foolish as to separate from us. As for us, we do not care three straws for that separation; we can get along without you.”
“That’s an Americanism,” remarked one of the company: “he is a stickler for Old England, and talks of going along!”
“I plead guilty to the charge,” replied the host. “The fact is, I have been so long in the United States that I have almost forgotten the English language.”
“Go on, sir! Go on!” cried the company; “never mind the language.”
“Well, gentlemen, I said we did not care three straws for that separation; neither do we, for our annual commercial balances against you are now greater than they ever were before the revolution. I only wish we could get rid of Canada in the same way. As for your independence, it’s all my eye and Betty Martin, as the saying goes, as long as you borrow money, and we are the ones that lend it you. A man in debt has lost his freedom, and the same holds of a nation.
“As regards the good understanding which exists between England and the United States, it is based, I am sure, on the most rational basis: the creditor likes to see his debtor prosper, in order that he may have a chance of being paid; and the debtor does not wish to break with his creditor, in order that the latter may not be too hard upon him, and, perhaps, trust him again. This, I believe, is all the sympathy which exists between the two countries at present; the antagonistical principles of their respective governments admitting of none other. With regard to myself, gentlemen, I can only say that, as the partner of an English house, I have always found the Americans an honest, clever, enterprising people; a little too enterprising by the by, especially with regard to manufactures” (here he cast a side glance at the representative of ‘the American system’); “but, as this has done them more harm than us, I am not disposed to quarrel with them. The Americans are, no doubt, our best customers; for which reason we like to see them in Liverpool, Manchester, Leeds, &c. in precisely the same manner as we Englishmen meet with more civility in Boston, New York, Philadelphia, and Baltimore, than in any other part of the Union. This is all natural enough; and, in proportion as trade increases, our friendship must increase with it: and as I, for one, am really disposed to promote the latter as far as lies in my power, I will give you ‘The trade between England and America!’”
The trade between England and America was then drunk in a bumper; when, after sundry coughs and expectorations, the manufacturer rose and delivered himself in these terms:—
“Gentlemen,
“I am a manufacturer,—I presume you all know what that means; and I am proud to be one.” (To the host.) “I think, sir, that without manufactures this country would be entirely dependent on Great Britain. Our manufactures, sir, make us independent; without manufactures we should still be the slaves of the old country.” (“Oh, oh!” and cries of “Go on, go on!”) “But, sir, I will go further; I will come to the point; I will go beyond it! What, sir, would become of this country without manufactures in case of a war with England?”—(Several gentlemen, “We don’t want war; we want peace.”)—“Gentlemen, if you interrupt me, I will sit down.”
(“No, no! go on! Let us have it in true style.”)