“You needn’t be, ’cause it wasn’t you speaking. It was God speaking through you. Them words you used for your text rung in my ears all night long. I could hear ’em plainer than when you spoke ’em from the pulpit: ‘Launch out into the deep.’ Mr. McGowan, do you believe there is any forgiveness for the unpardonable sin?”
Evidently knowing that a minister of the 179 Presbyterian faith could entertain but one answer and remain a moral man, she did not wait for a reply.
“It was years ago when I first heard them words. They were just as plain to me then as they was last night, but I refused to obey ’em. I didn’t think I could stand the ocean. You know the way I was coming over from Riverhead. Well, I’m always sick on the water, and so I said right out that I wouldn’t set sail as a seaman’s wife. I was young and strong-headed then, and didn’t understand. The man I said ‘No’ to went off, and I never heard from him but three times since. Some said he was drowned at sea, but I know he wasn’t. I’ve been true to him all these years, trying to atone for my sin of disobedience. If he’d come back now, I’d go with him though he’d slay me.”
Mr. McGowan wanted to smile at the mixed figure, but the serious face before him prevented him. “Did you say you never heard from him?” he asked, sympathetically.
“No. I didn’t say that.” She spoke 180 sharply, but immediately her face and tone softened. “I didn’t mean to speak cross, but I ain’t spoke of this for years, and it upsets me when I think of what I done.”
“We’ll not speak of it, then.”
“It won’t disturb me the least bit. It sort of helps to talk about it. I’m thinking all the time about him, how brave he was. He was so manly, too, was my Adoniah.”
“Adoniah?” questioned the minister, sitting up with a suddenness that astonished Miss Pipkin.
“Adoniah was his first name. I ain’t spoke it out loud for years. It does sound sort of queer, doesn’t it? I didn’t think so then.” She sighed deeply. “The spirit of the Lord seemed to go away from me when Adoniah did. If only he’d come back.”
“He has not left you. God is not a hard master, leaving people alone for their shortcomings.”