"Cousin Willie Peebles, a nice little feller, but funny. That there jaw ain't swelled. Jist nacherul. Pa says Willie's th' mumpiest lookin' boy he ever see."
"Uncle Charley Sparks, that is. He's awfully witty. Onct when Aunt Kate said she liked a clock fer company, its tick was s' comfortin', and gramma said she liked a dog better, Uncle Charley he ups and says, 'Would yuh want th' dog t' have ticks, ma?' he says.
"Turn over."
"That's Uncle Abner Sedley. He's th' most stubborn person in our fambly, even if he is a preacher. One time last winter he got awful mad at a church meetin' 'cause things didn't go his way and stomped out, yellin', 'My hands is clear; I wash my skirts of th' whole matter!' he says. Then he found he'd fergot his specs and he had t' sneak back in and git 'm, weth ever'body snickerin'. I guess he felt purty cheap.
"Turn over."
"That's my cousin, Edna Sparks. She ain't very smart and she's got a voice that's a terror to snakes, but her ma thinks she kin sing and's allus sickin' her on t' do it. Pa says onct th' silly thing says when her ma was urgin' her before comp'ny, 'Aw, ma, I can't sing, my hands is chapped.' I don't believe she ever done it, though. Jist another of pa's jokes, I bet.