“I suppose then,” said I, “there are many judges in hell, if what you say is correct, which seems to me very probable.”
“Yes,” replied the demon, “they are there in great numbers, and we have put them in the same place with thieves and robbers. One circumstance that will surprise you, is, that their multitude is as considerable as that of the amorous; although they have among the former, only the men who were judges: and among the latter, men and women who have loved once at least in their lives.”
“You wish to give me to understand,” said I to him, “that there are many lovers in hell; but can that be? If men were damned for this passion, no person should be exempt from your infernal jurisdiction. But this passion hath one great advantage; it is conformable to the charity that men owe to one another, and is always accompanied with repentance, and certain remorse of conscience, when it departs from those who have been possessed. One sees young girls even, who repent of their faults. How many religions houses are founded by penitence! how many old coquettes give themselves up to devotion! how many men follow their example, after love has fled with beauty, constitution, and wealth!”
“But,” said the demon, “how many men and women, young and old, die in their amours, and count you for nothing the despair, the chagrin, the secret pains under which so many lovers have succumbed? Know you not that some temperaments are so affected by this passion, that they quit it but with life? If I should relate to you the histories of both sexes perverted by the perusal of gallant adventures, and having no other desire in their souls but to experience the like; if I should cause you to see the occupations of these people in hell, you would pity some, while you could not help laughing at the folly of others. You would see young men burning at the feet of their mistresses; and old ones, who, to please theirs, are continually shaving themselves, or plucking out their beard, and who put on bland perukes, to give themselves a youthful appearance; young girls, who imagine themselves to be Cleopatras, Artemisias, and Clelias; old coquettes, who paint themselves continually before their glass, who torment their locks, tightening the forehead-cloth to efface the wrinkles, and adjusting to the mouth artificial teeth of ivory or wax: but all their cases are lost, since there is nothing substantial in the other world. You would be astonished, if I were to point out to you all the girls who have taken certain means to hide the effects of their love sports. It would of necessity be seen, how many surgeons and physicians follow in their train; and if any one should inquire why these people are in hell, who have rendered such universal service, I answer, because they ought not to afford assistance to every one. Can they, for instance,” added he, “conscientiously administer those remedies to cause hemorrhages, which end in abortion?”
And as I was about to observe, that the physicians could not be cognizant of a malady which they would not discover—
“I understand you,” interrupted the demon: “be sure they know well enough, without that; at any rate, it is their duty to know, or to suspect.”
“But,” said I to him, “is there not another secret you have omitted, of similar effect to the assistance of the physicians?”
“Yes,” he answered: “there are the poisoners, sorcerers, and adroit women, who teach these mysteries; and there are some in hell who yet continue this infamous practice.”
“You would have it understood,” said I, “that you are a good devil; a devil of honour and conscience: you would make a good preacher; the flock would doubtless edify by your sermons.”
“Be persuaded,” said he, “that if I preach not agreeable things, I announce wholesome truths: believe also, that I have many preachers dependent upon me. ‘Who are they?’ you inquire. They are those who preach for their own glory, to establish a reputation, to acquire celebrity, to gain benefices, and levy contributions upon poor devotees. They commit wickedness in doing good to others; in teaching and edifying them. If we lose the hearers through the instrumentality of their discourses, we gain the pastors, which is more honourable to us. Finally, I declare to you, that it is by the order of God, that I speak to you before all these persons: I warn you, in particular, that you are lost, unless you abandon all the projects of ambition you have formed, and unless you renounce poetry, which is at the same time so agreeable and fatal.