“Certainly,” replied Freddy courteously; “I shall be only too happy, and as delays are dangerous I had perhaps better be off at once—where is the young lady?”
“Eh! hold hard there! don't go quite so fast, young man,” exclaimed Lawless aghast; “if you bolt away at that pace you'll never see the end of the run; why, you don't suppose I want you to go and talk to her—pop the question viva voce, do you? You'll be advising me to be married by deputy, I suppose, next. No, no, I'm going to do the trick by letter—something like a Valentine, only rather more so, eh? but I can't exactly manage to write it properly. If it was but a warranty for a horse, now, I'd knock it off in no time, but this is a sort of thing, you see, I'm not used to; one doesn't get married as easily as one sells a horse, nor as often, eh? and it's rather a nervous piece of business—a good deal depends upon the letter.”
“You've been trying your hand at it already, I see,” observed Coleman, seating himself at the table; “pretty consumption of paper! I wonder what my governor would say to me if I were to set about drawing a deed in this style; why, the stationer's bill would run away with all the profits.”
“Never mind the profits, you avaricious Jew,” replied Lawless. “Yes, I've been trying effects, as the painters call it—putting down two or three beginnings to find out which looked the most like the time of day—you understand?”
“Two or three?” repeated Coleman, “six or seven rather, voyons. 'Mr. Lawless presents his affections to Miss Fairlegh, and requests the hon....' Not a bad idea, an offer in the third person—the only case in which a third person would not be de trop in such an affair.”
“Eh! yes, I did the respectful when I first started, you know, but I soon dropped that sort of thing when I got warm; you'll see, I stepped out no end afterwards.”
“'Honoured Miss,'” continued Coleman, reading, “'My sentiments, that is, your perfections, your splendid action, your high breeding, and the many slap-up points that may be discerned in you by any man that has an eye for a horse...'”
“Ah! that was where I spoiled it,” sighed Lawless.
“Here's a very pretty one,” resumed Freddy. “'Adorable and adored Miss Fanny Fairlegh, seeing you as I do with the eyes' (Why she would not think you saw her with your nose, would she?)' of fond affection, probably would induce me to overlook any unsoundness or disposition to vice...'”
“That one did not turn out civilly, you see,” said Lawless, “or else it wasn't such a bad beginning.”