CHAPTER LIV — MR. VERNOR MEETS HIS MATCH
“If thou dost find him tractable to us,
Encourage him, and tell him all our reasons.
If he be leaden, icy cold, unwilling,
Be thou so too.”
—Richard III.
“For the intent and purpose of the law,
Hath full relation to the penalty,
Which here appeareth due.”
“Tarry a little, there is something else.”
—Merchant of Venice.
“Your looks are pale and wild,
and do import some misadventure.”
—Romeo and Juliet.
ANY tender-hearted reader who may feel anxious concerning the fate of the unjustly suspected Shrimp, will be glad to learn that this hopeful candidate for the treadmill (not to mention a more airy and exalted destiny), escaped his promised castigation, for, the moment we alighted, Freddy Coleman dragged us into the library, and Lawless, in the excitement of relating the morning's adventure, entirely forgot his threatened vengeance. Lawless's account of the affair was, as may well be imagined, rich in the extreme, worth walking barefoot twenty miles to hear, Freddy Coleman declared afterwards; and an equally laborious pilgrimage would have been quite repaid by witnessing the contortions of delight with which the aforesaid Freddy listened to him.
“So you have positively settled the drysalter, and stand pledged to marry my cousin Lucy, if she approve of you on further acquaintance? What will you give me to hand her over to you?”
“Give you, eh? the soundest thrashing you ever had in your life—one that will find you something to think about for the next fortnight, and no mistake. The idea of putting the young woman's affections up to auction! why, you're worse than your old governor, he only wants to sell her to the highest bidder.”
“Well, he's been sold himself this time, pretty handsomely,” replied Freddy; “I only hope it will be a lesson to him for the future.”
“It strikes me he'd be all the better for a few more lessons of the sort, eh? go through a regular 'educational course,' as they call it. Governors nowadays get so dreadfully conceited and dictatorial—they know best—and they will have this—and they won't have that. It's no joke to be a son, I can tell you.—'Latchkey, sir! only let me hear of your daring to introduce that profligate modern invention into my house, and I'll cut you off with a shilling.'”
“'The most unkindest cut of all,'” quoted Freddy. “Worse than 'cut behind' for the small boys, who indulge their locomotive propensities by sitting on the spikes at the backs of carriages, eh?” said Lawless. “Sharp set they must be, very!” put in Freddy. “Well, of all the vile puns I ever heard, that, which I believe to be an old Joe Miller, is the worst,” exclaimed I. “Not to subject myself any longer to such wretched attempts, I shall go and dress for dinner.”
“By way of obtaining re-dress! Well, I hope we shall be better suited when we meet again,” rejoined Freddy, fairly punning me out of the room.
Mr. Frampton returned from town late that evening, but in high health and spirits, having been closeted for some hours with his legal adviser, who had given him clear instructions as to the course he was to pursue to obtain possession of his niece on the following day.