“Phew!” whistled Coleman, “that was a lucky shot of mine; I fancied it must have been something about Oaklands and billiards that had gone wrong, when I saw how savage it made him. I like to rile Cumberland sometimes, because he's always so soft and silky; he seems afraid of getting into a good honest rage, lest he should let out something he does not want one to know. I hate such extreme caution; it always makes me think there must be something very wrong to be concealed, when people are so mighty particular.”
“You are not quite a fool after all, Freddy,” said Oaklands, encouragingly.
“Thank ye for nothing, Harry Longlegs,” replied Coleman,—skipping beyond the reach of Oaklands' arm. A few mornings after this conversation took place Oaklands, who was sitting in the recess of the window (from which he had ejected Lawless on the memorable evening of his arrival), called me to him, and asked in a low tone of voice whether I should mind calling at the billiard-rooms when I went out, and paying a month's subscription which he owed there. He added that he did not like going himself, for fear of meeting Cumberland or the Captain, as if they pressed him to play, and he refused (which he certainly should do), something disagreeable might occur, which it was quite as well to avoid. In this I quite agreed, and willingly undertook the commission. While we were talking Thomas came into the room with a couple of letters, one of which he gave to Oaklands, saying, it had just come by the post, while he handed the other to Cumberland, informing him that the gentleman who brought it was waiting for an answer. I fancied that Cumberland changed colour slightly when his eye fell upon the writing. After rapidly perusing the note, he crushed it in his hand, and flung it into the fire, saying:—
“My compliments to the gentleman, and I'll be with him at the time he mentions”.
“Well, this is kind of my father,” exclaimed Oaklands, looking up with a face beaming with pleasure; “after writing me the warmest and most affectionate letter possible, he sends me an order for three hundred pounds upon his banker, telling me always to apply to him when I want money, or get into difficulties of any kind; and that if I will promise him that this shall be the case, I need never be afraid of asking for too much, as he should be really annoyed were I to stint myself.”
“What a pattern for fathers!” exclaimed Coleman, rubbing his hands. “I only wish my old dad would test my obedience in that sort of way;—I'd take care I would not annoy him by asking for too little; he need not fret himself on that account. Ugh!” continued he, with a look of intense disgust, “it's quite dreadful to think what perverted ideas he has on the subject; he actually fancies it his business to spend his money as well as to make it; and as for sons, the less they have the better, lest they should get into extravagant habits, forsooth! I declare it's quite aggravating to think of the difference between people: a cheque for three hundred pounds from a father, who'll be annoyed if one does not always apply to him for money enough! Open the window there! I am getting faint!”
“Don't you think there's a little difference between sons as well as fathers, Master Fred, eh?” inquired Lawless. “I should say some sons might be safely trusted with three-hundred-pound cheques; while others are certain to waste two shillings, and misapply sixpence, out of every half-crown they may get hold of.”
“Sir, I scorn your insinuations; sir, you're no gentleman,” was the reply, producing (as was probably intended) an attack from Lawless, which Coleman avoided for some time by dodging round chairs and under tables. After the chase had lasted for several minutes Coleman, when on the point of being captured, contrived, by a master-stroke of policy, to substitute Mullins in his place, and the affair ended by that worthy being knocked down by Lawless, “for always choosing to interfere with everything,” and being kicked up again by Coleman, “for having prevented him from properly vindicating his wounded honour”.
“Who's going near the Post-office, and will put a letter in for me?” asked Oaklands.
“I am,” replied Cumberland; “I've got one of my own to put in also.”