“Dear sir,” he cried, “why will you not consent to my taking this quarrel on myself? Why should you place your life in jeopardy for the gratification of Mathews and his associates? Think, sir, that your life is valuable; while mine—well, I can afford to risk it.”
“My dear boy, you have risked your life once for me,” said Mr. Long, laying a hand on Dick’s shoulder. “I cannot permit you to do so a second time. But believe me, I shall run no risk in this matter. I give you my word that I shall never stand up before that fellow. Why, when his friend the major was juggling, but without the skill of a juggler, with his metaphors just now, I was thinking out three separate and distinct plans for making a duel impossible, however well-intentioned Major O’Teague may be.”
“Tell me but one of them, Mr. Long,” said Dick.
“Nay, my friend, I debated the question of telling you when I had worked out my plans of campaign, and I came to the conclusion that you must know nothing of—of—of what I know,” said Mr. Long. “You hope to write a play one of these days? Well, sir, there is no discipline equal to that of one’s daily life for a man who aspires to write a comedy dealing with the follies of the time. The comedy of the duel has never been rightly dealt with. Behold your chance, sir.”
Dick resumed the shaking of his head.
“Ah, sir, what I dread is the play which one means to be a comedy, but which becomes in its development a tragedy.”
“True, that is always to be dreaded,” said Mr. Long. “And I allow that Fate is not a consistent designer of plays. She mixes up comedy and tragedy in such a tangle that her own shears alone can restore the symmetry of the piece. When Fate puts on the mask of comedy the result is very terrible. But we shall do our best to get her to play a leading part on our side, in our company, and I promise you some diversion. Now you must act in this little play as if you were no novice on the stage, but as if, like Major O’Teague, you had played the part fourteen times. At the outstart you must get rid of your nervousness. I tell you again, the play is a comedy.”
“I would not be nervous if I were playing the chief part, sir.”
“What, you are still willing to play the leading character? That is quite unlike a play-actor, Mr. Sheridan. Is’t not very well known that an actor would submit to anything rather than play a leading character? Has your father never told you how anxious they all are to be cast for the insignificant parts?”