The Holy Land and Syria

by Frank G. Carpenter

It behooves the Mohammedan woman to be strict in her conduct. The husband here has most of the rights, and can divorce his wife, or wives, whenever he will. He sometimes does so without thinking, and that to his sorrow. I heard of such a case yesterday. According to the laws of Damascus, if a man wishes to get rid of his wife he has only to say, “I divorce you! I divorce you! I divorce you!” and the woman must leave. Once she has gone she cannot come back as a wife until after she has been married to someone else. To get around this, an angry husband, relenting and longing for the dear departed, arranges to marry her to a friend, a dervish, or some half-crazy man, who for a sum will go through the ceremony of a wedding and immediately divorce the woman, who can then be married again to her former husband. In the case referred to the man had a petty quarrel with his wife, and angrily muttered the words of divorce. As soon as she had gone he repented, and thereupon brought about her marriage with an alleged friend, with the understanding that a divorce was to follow right after the ceremony. The friend, however, refused to utter the words of divorce, saying, “I like the woman and will keep her myself,” and so it is at this writing.

Such divorces are always on the part of the husband. As for the women, they have more difficulty in getting rid of the marriage tie, although they can do so provided the husband does not perform his duty to them or give them an equal amount of attention with the other wives of the family. According to Mohammed every man had the right to four wives, but the Koran provides that he must spend an equal time with each of them, and in some places he is required to give each a separate establishment.

During my travels in the Holy Land I have picked up some interesting stories of marriage and divorce. Every sect has its own customs. The Jews can divorce easily, and after that they can marry again. The orthodox Greeks can marry only three times, and some of the Christians are not allowed a divorce without cause.

In all of the Jewish weddings the girl brings a dowry, the amount of the dot being mentioned in the contract of marriage. This contract is always signed in the presence of the rabbi, and the wedding ceremony takes place under a tent in the court of the synagogue. Before marriage the orthodox bride is shaved from her head to her feet, after which her head is always kept covered. At the ceremony and after it they have music, with drums, cymbals, and harps; and many of the old-fashioned customs of Bible times are observed. The Jews marry young, and a girl is an old maid at twenty.

The Mohammedans of the villages usually take wives in their early teens, marriages at twelve years being not uncommon. This is the case only with the girls. The men are usually older, and it is customary for mature men to marry young girls and to add to their harems as the first wives grow older. In such cases the groom pays money to the father of the bride. This is the reverse of the Jewish marriages, where the money goes to the groom. The price for a Moslem wife ranges from one hundred dollars upward, according to the financial condition of the contracting parties. The contracts are made by the older people of the family. If there is a father he decides upon the marriage. If the father is dead the eldest brother may act, or in some cases the mother.

The customs as to the right of the family to dictate the marriage are rigid. The other day a peasant living near Jerusalem had a sister who ran away with her lover and married him. This was after the family had objected to the match. The peasant took a revolver and went after the bridal couple. He caught up with his brother-in-law in Jerusalem and shot him dead on the street. When arrested he justified the crime and he is now imprisoned awaiting trial. I am told he will get off with a slight punishment, as he has acted within his rights according to the Koran.

Among the city Mohammedans the bridegroom makes a present of a dowry sufficient to enable his bride to purchase her trousseau and household furniture. He may give her six or eight hundred dollars, the greater part of which will be paid to her nearest male relative before the wedding takes place. On the other hand, he and that relative may buy the outfit together, making items of the various things and their cost. Often the whole dowry is not paid at once, 25 or 30 per cent. being left until after the wedding. This is not demanded except in case of divorce, and it is considered a premium that will insure good treatment from the husband.

The bride seldom even sees the groom before the wedding, and the couple never meet until that time. The investigations of both families are carried on by the fathers and mothers independent of the real parties to the marriage.

When a boy is old enough to have a wife, let us say at seventeen, his parents begin to look about for a suitable girl. The mother goes to the harems of her acquaintances, and asks about the daughters. She also visits the girls’ schools, and when she has found a maiden who she thinks may suit she invites the mother of the girl to meet her at the bath. This is one of the chief places of gossip and pleasure and it is not uncommon for ladies to meet there. To the bath comes the prospective bride with her mother for her first interview with her would-be mother-in-law. The two talk and gossip together. After the bath is over they have something to eat.

There is more talking, and the girl is sized up mentally and physically. Upon her return home the mother of the groom tells her husband the result of her investigations, and if he is pleased, negotiations are begun with the parents of the bride. If agreeable, the dowry is fixed and the betrothal is made. Neither the marriage nor the betrothal can be consummated without the consent of the girl. The man, or a Mohammedan priest, appears at the door of the harem of the bride’s mother. The girl, who is behind the door, is asked if she will consent to the match. She has to answer “I will!” three separate times, after which the amount of the dowry may be paid over in the presence of witnesses.