Ting-a-ling

by Frank R. Stockton

When Tur-il-i-ra perceived them, he arose and welcomed them heartily, remembering Trumkard as an old friend. He caused them to be seated on the porch, and ordered water to be brought that they might free themselves from the dust of the journey. Then he called to his attendants to spread a table, and to bring some cold meat and some game, some curries and hashes, some minced meat, some pepper-pot, some mutton-chops, omelettes, bacon and eggs; some broiled steaks, some spare-ribs, toast, butter, cheese, pickles, and salad; some macaroni, vermicelli, chowder, mullagatawny, lobsters, clams, oysters, mussels, and shrimps; also some tripe, kidneys, liver, and sausages, and calves'-foot-jelly, and stewed cranberries; also frangipanni tarts and a Charlotte-Russe, with bottles of orgeat, sherbet, and iced wines, together with mead and mineral water.

When his guests had partaken of these, their hunger was fully satisfied, and they related to him the reason of their coming. When the Giant learned how the Princess was kept from her lover, and in all probability from a throne, by this wicked sorceress, his anger knew no bounds.

"I knew the woman well!" he cried, "but I thought her dead. Many is the deed of vile magic which I have known her to do, but now—well, my friends, you shall be avenged. I will take up the cause of the Princess, and we will set out for the hollow mountain as soon as I can get myself ready to start."

Leaving the two friends in comfortable chairs on the porch, in which they fell asleep as soon as he had left them, the Giant ascended the great stone stairs into his armory, which was an immense room, filled with his mighty weapons, and armor and all sorts of implements of warfare. Kicking off his slippers, he put upon his feet great boots, the like of which were never seen before. Their soles were enormously thick, and studded with nails, each one of which was so heavy that I would not like to have to carry it very far. Then, having put on his chain armor and his great gauntlets, and having arrayed himself otherwise according to his taste, he put upon his head his helmet, which was like a great iron pot, and big enough to—well, big enough to cover his head, which is saying a great deal. He then took, from the corner of the room, his club, which was the trunk of a tall tree, with one end fastened into a great rock, by way of having a knob to it. Having thus accoutred himself, he came down-stairs, and, finding his guests in such a sound slumber, he had not the heart to waken them; so he gently took them up, and put one of them in each of the side-pockets of the coat which he wore over his armor. Then, having given orders to his servants to close all the gates, and see that the house was well fastened up for fear of thieves, he strode out of the great gate, and proceeded towards the hollow mountain. Although this was a long journey for a man or a horse, our Giant made such tremendous strides that it did not seem like a very great distance to him; and when Trumkard and the Prince awoke, and stood up, and looked in astonishment out of the pocket-holes, they saw the mountain in the distance. The Giant, perceiving that they were awake, looked from one to the other with his peculiar pleasant smile, and assured them that their troubles would soon be at an end.

"I hardly think," said he, "that the old woman can keep me out of her tower;" and he laughed at the very idea of such a thing. The Prince made no reply, but he thought that if the Giant did get into the tower, it would be considerably stretched.

Having arrived at the mountain, the Giant walked around it until he came to the place where, the Prince informed him, he had made his escape, and which was, as far as there was an opportunity of judging, one of the thinnest parts. Tur-il-i-ra took his friends out of his pockets, and set them on the ground at a little distance from the foot of the mountain; and then letting his club down from his shoulder, he whirled it around his head, and struck such a tremendous blow on the side of the mountain, with the rock end, that everything cracked again. Then another on the same place, and another, and another, until, at the last blow, a great mass of rock and earth fell inside with a crash like thunder, leaving a gap large enough for the whole party to walk in without stooping. You may be sure that the three were not long in entering; but no sooner had they set foot upon the great interior plain, than they perceived a mighty commotion among the inhabitants of this secluded spot. Ghouls, Afrites, and all sorts of demons were running towards them in a great state of excitement; and as they approached, they formed into a solid body, evidently intending to repel the invaders. There was no mistaking their intentions; for they hurled at the Giant a volley of spears and javelins that would have annihilated any one who was not so large, and who had not on such strong and secure chain-armor.

As to our two smaller friends, they were safe enough behind the Giant's legs. Giving his club a swing, Tur-il-i-ra stepped forward, and let it drive right into the middle of the crowd, crushing some sixty of them, and sending the rest howling in every direction.

Being thus rid, for a time, of these opposers, the Giant picked up his club, and, followed by the Prince and Trumkard, advanced towards the tower. Although Tur-il-i-ra strode along at a great rate, the Prince got to the tower first, and immediately commenced shouting to his Princess. She, however, did not make her appearance, for she was still in a swoon. So the Prince ran around to the door to see if, by chance, it was open, but found it locked. He saw, however, the hilt of his sword still in the lock, and, seizing it, he again used his utmost strength to pull it out, but in vain. The Giant, who had just come up, perceiving what he was trying to do, stooped down, and, taking hold of the hilt in his finger and thumb, gave it a jerk, and out it came. He handed it, with a smile, to the Prince, who, overjoyed at regaining his favorite weapon, jumped around to see if there was anybody he could stick it into; but as all the Yabouks and other cattle were standing at a respectful distance, and there was only old Trumkard running up, he thought better of the matter, and put his sword into its scabbard, feeling himself a man again. The Giant walked round the tower, putting his eye to the windows, but said he could see nothing.

"Look in the upper window!" shouted the Prince; "that is the Princess's room."

"Yes! here she is!" cried the old fellow, peering on tiptoe into the upper room. "And fast asleep on the floor! That wretch of a witch has not even given her a bed." Then, clapping his great hands against the side of the tower, he cried,—"Wake up, sweet Princess!" in a voice so loud that the poor young lady thought it was thunder, and sprang to her feet trembling with fright. Seeing the face of a strange Giant at the window, she was so much more terrified that it is probable she would have fainted away again, had she not heard the Prince's voice.