Ting-a-ling

by Frank R. Stockton

As for the palace, it shook and trembled with the thunders of applause, still led by the Giant, who couldn't be stopped. The people about him were all struck deaf in the ear nearest him, but the ear-doctors cured them all for nothing, when they got outside, so full of charity was every one. At last, when every one, the Giant and all, were hoarse with shouting, the Prime Minister offered his hand to the Queen, and led her down from the throne. Then she motioned to the Prince to give her his arm; and at the head of the procession, he led her to the royal apartments, at the door of which he left her. The multitude then dispersed, and they spent the rest of that day in putting right the wrongs they had committed, and in making provision for future virtue. When the Queen had taken some refreshment, she put on an every-day crown, and repaired to the audience chamber to receive the visits of the various dignitaries of the kingdom, who came before her, and brought her their keys, and papers, and account-books. Giving each one back his keys, and ordering the papers and accounts to be deposited in a great pile on one side, where she might look over them at her leisure, she reappointed every man to the office he held before, and sent them away rejoicing. Then she called for writing materials and slaves, and commenced writing notes to the Prince. She would write one on gilded vellum, and, folding it, would hand it to the slave next to her, who dipped it in frankincense, and handed it to the next one, who sprinkled it with attar of roses, and passed it to the next, who ran with it as hard as ever he could to the Prince. For in that kingdom it was not considered proper for lovers to visit much.

This performance the Queen kept up all the afternoon, writing as fast as she could, and only stopping long enough to read the answers which the slaves brought her as they returned. At last, they came back, bringing with them her last notes unopened, saying that the Prince had gone to sleep. At which intelligence she shed some tears, but then, like a sensible Queen, had her supper, and went to bed.

The next day the marriage of the Queen and the Prince took place, and it was a glorious affair indeed. Twenty-four historians were appointed by the Crown to write the history of it; they were paid by the quarter, and it took them a long time, I can assure you.

The whole of the wedding-day, the festivities were kept up, and all the eating, and drinking, and merry-making, was at the royal expense. During the day and night everybody spent, and gave away to the poor, all the wealth they possessed, and in the morning it was all paid back to them by the royal Treasurer. In the country, the people feasted grandly on their own herds, and drank up their own wines, and they were also reimbursed by the Crown.

But the great feature of the royal marriage was the decree, proclaimed at noon of the wedding-day, that all persons married on that day should be set up in housekeeping, free of expense!

Never, in the history of that or any other kingdom, were priests kept so busy as those in this city. They worked as hard as they could, but at three o'clock they were obliged to commence marrying the folks by squads; and so, before suppertime, there was not a bachelor or maid in the whole city,—excepting an old bobstay spinner,—one of the crossest of old maids, who hated men so much that she had not spoken to one for forty years; and a crabbed bachelor, who despised women so completely that he never had his clothes washed, because it would have to be done by females.

At midnight, the priest Ali-bo-babem was called out of his bed, and found at the door, desiring to be married, the crabbed old bachelor and the cross old maid. These two did not live long, but all the rest of the people were very happy for many years.

About three o'clock of the morning after the great wedding-day, the Giant Tur-il-i-ra arrived at his castle gate. He had walked all the way home, and he felt in such a good humor that the road never seemed so short to him before. But, for some reason, he could not open the gate. There seemed to be an unusual number of locks and bolts, and the big key he carried did not seem to fit any of the numerous key-holes. He could easily reach over and undo the bolts, but the locks were too much for him; and, I am sorry to say, he got a little angry, and was about to take his club and smash his magnificent gate, when his wife, who had been sitting up for him, and had heard the noise he had been making, came down and let him in.

They went together into the great hall, and there Tur-il-i-ra sat down before the fire. His wife, who thought a great deal of the good Giant, was sorry to see that he was silent and rather grum.