Suddenly, to me entered two men, with gloomy looks and an air of embarrassment, who seeing me in evening dress at once concluded that I was the lecturer and introduced themselves as secretary and treasurer respectively of the society engaging me. Then the secretary stammered out:
“We’ve come on rather a curious errand, Mr. Bullen. We’ve come to ask you if you’ll take your fee and go away?”
“Of course, if you wish it,” I replied, with a smile of encouragement; “but surely you don’t mind telling me why, though perhaps I ought not to enquire.” (The treasurer had meanwhile stealthily placed a little pile of gold at my elbow.)
“Well, you see, it’s like this,” grunted the secretary, with a brick-red flush on his face, “there’s nobody there. An’ there’s nobody to come, as far as I can see. The men folk are almost all gone and th’ women don’t care. So the society’s cracked up. Anyhow, I’m done with it from to-night; I don’t like this kind of job at all. However, we’re much obliged t’ye, Mr. Bullen.”
“Oh, not at all,” I chortled gaily, as I absent-mindedly slipped the sovereigns into my breeches pocket. “But if anybody should come between now and half-past nine I’m quite willing to give the lecture, even if there’s only half a dozen present.”
With more muttered thanks they left me, and I sat smiling at my own thoughts, gazing at the fire and feeling very comfortable. At about half-past eight, however, the secretary peeped in again and said very apologetically:
“There’s a few people come, sir, so we thought perhaps you wouldn’t mind——”
“Why, of course,” I cried gaily, and springing up I accompanied him to the platform of the really fine hall (seating capacity about four hundred, I should think) and gave my lecture to less than a dozen people. What did it matter when the lights were turned down? And so we parted on the best of terms with each other, and I to bed feeling very virtuous.
Now this was Saturday night and I was due to lecture at Halifax on the morrow at seven p.m. So I planned to have a comfortable midday meal where I was and get on by a good train in the afternoon. But after breakfast the waitress, a typical Yorkshire lass, enquired, but without a trace of interest:
“When are ye goin’?”