Though we all felt very keenly the loss we had suffered in the death of the Boss, we could not allow our depression of spirits to take too strong a hold on us, for there was much work to be done.
The season was now well advanced, and I had to make up my mind at once as to what we were going to do. Sir Ernest Shackleton’s death, occurring at this critical juncture, left me with no knowledge of his plans, for he had withheld any definite decision as to future movements until he should be able to arrange for another complete overhaul of the engines. Since hearing of the crack in the furnace he had outlined several alternative propositions without, however, showing any definite leaning to any one of them.
The entry in his diary of January 1st shows how fully he realized the condition of the engines. Yet he added: “But the spirit of all on board is sound and good”; and later, “I must always lead on”! There is not the slightest doubt that he intended to go on with the work, and I knew that had he lived he would have found some way to carry on.
My position, when summed up, was as follows:
I was out of communication with the rest of the world, and there was no possibility of my receiving any message from Mr. Rowett. I had therefore to act for myself.
The Antarctic open season was well advanced, and thus limited the time available for manœuvring in the ice. I had therefore to act without delay.
With regard to the ship, the recent heavy storms had shown her to be a fine sea-boat, capable of standing any weather at sea. Rigging and hull were sound. The troubles which had so continuously cropped up since our leaving England had shown, however, that the engines could not be regarded as reliable.
We were short of both food stores and equipment, for our depot for the South was to have been Cape Town, and as a result of all the delays involved since our start we had not been able to go there and take them up. The food stores included those things most suitable for cold regions. The general equipment included warm clothing, footgear, sledging gear and harness; special ice equipment in the way of ice-picks, ice-anchors and hand harpoons; oil and paraffin for the engines and dynamos, and a quantity of scientific gear.
As to personnel, I knew that I had with me men who would staunchly stand by me and support me in whatever decision I should come to.
Sir Ernest had spoken on one occasion, just before arrival at South Georgia, of proceeding down Bransfield Strait, finding a suitable spot somewhere on the western side of Graham Land, and freezing the ship in for the winter. When summer appeared he would cross Graham Land to the Weddell Sea and explore the coastline on that side as far as time and conditions should permit.