We walked for some distance homewards in silence.
I have given but an outline of what the bishop said, but it depressed me to know of all these things going on in the great world outside my quiet home, my somewhat paltry life. It made me feel my own littleness and inadequacy. I frankly admitted to myself that I had no moral right to my wealth, that I had shirked the responsibilities it brought with it. But if I had undertaken them I knew that I should only have done harm through my ignorance. I had to content myself with being merely harmless; spending and giving my money decently and judiciously. The bishop had good reason to know that I was always ready to support with money any of his schemes that required it. As a rule I had none of Hamlet’s uncomfortable sensation that I was born to reduce dislocations of the Time.
The bishop was quite distressed at a lame attempt of mine to express something of this.
“My dear fellow,” he said, “we all have our Fate and our Function. It need not trouble your conscience that yours is somewhat pleasanter than the average. In these days the combination of scholar and gentleman has ceased to man the professions. When we do find one, I think he should be endowed by the State if necessary. When chance endows him, as in your case, we should thank God for it. But I ought not to have burdened you with all these harassing things that afflict us public men. You can’t imagine the relief it is to me to have someone to whom I can blurt out all that is in my mind without fear of his being ‘scandalised.’”
Our intimacy rendered any polite disclaimer from me unnecessary.
We began to talk about Edmund, and I explained in further detail the projects of the partners.
“How old did you say your brother was?”
“He’s about twenty-five now.”
“Twenty-five. Well, some men are a long time growing up. Within limits it’s the best men that take the longest. I am sure from all you have told me that there’s a fine man somewhere inside your brother. But I hope he’ll soon get tired of play.”
“I suppose it is just play,” I assented.