THEN the herald proclaimed again that, the Creation being ended, all would adjourn for a week for the Bell to cool, the week to be spent in blowing up their patriotic fervor to the maximum incandescence, and filling their lungs for a fortissimo shout for Liberty on the seventh day.
And the poor dogs did as they were bid. And on the seventh day all gathered to the lifting up of the Bell. And when it was lifted up, the fleas, being very strong and vigorous, did most of the shouting, but the dogs, being very weak for lack of food, did shout very poorly. Nevertheless, the Great Daily Press shut all its eyes, and proclaimed abroad that the shout for Liberty that day was the Great United Shout of One Great United Nation of free, prosperous and happy dogs.
Then said the Bamboozling Committee unto the Great Daily Press, “Oh, thou Great Gee Whizz, on what sacred high place shall we hang this Sacred Vibrator, that its voice may be heard around the world?”
And the Great Gee Whizz answered and said, “The Eternal Fitnesses require that everything that can emblematize our glorious liberties be gathered around this central emblem. Therefore, let Liberty Earth be gathered, and a Liberty Tree be planted therein, to the baptism of Liberty Holy Water, and let the fairest limb thereof be selected as a Liberty Limb, and thereon hang the Liberty Bell, facing the Liberty Goddess, and from the top of the tree let the sacredest emblem of all—the Flag of Liberty—proudly and defiantly float, that Liberty may be complete and perfect.”
And the Bamboozling Committee said the conception was that of a master mind, and should be done. And they sent some very learned and paunchy fleas to a place where, according to tradition, several fighting dogs, eminent in the battle against the Kyhidom dogs, had lain down and scratched themselves and slept the night before, and which had smelt extraordinarily strong of patriotic dog for a long time after. There was also a spot where the great leader in that fight, having got a fly up his nose, had stood and sneezed tremendously; and the spot where his fore feet had stood during his convulsion had been marked with remembrance sticks from that day.
These spots, they said, were, therefore, Holy Ground; and they ordered several poor dogs, that had been specially fumigated and cleansed and consecrated for the occasion, to take Consecrated Shovels, and reverently and, to the accompaniment of solemn chanting by several solemn salaried barkers, dig up some of that Sacred Dirt and put it reverently in Consecrated Pots and Tins and carry it in solemn procession to the Sacred Spot, where the Liberty Tree was to be planted.
And they solemnly dumped it there, and the Holy-Dirt-touched Pots and Shovels were afterwards put away on a Consecrated Shelf in the Church of the Fleas. And it was so that in after days, many came to worship the Blessed Pots and Tins and Shovels that had been touched by the Liberty Earth on which the ancient dogs had lain and scratched and sneezed; and whosoever looked at them was made Free, and received power to make others Free; and whosoever touched them was made whole of any disease he had, and received power to heal anyone else.
Then the Bamboozling Committee sent another paunch-bellied and learned lot of fleas, to where was a tree, against which certain big dogs that had distinguished themselves in the said battle against the Kyhidom dogs, had rubbed themselves vigorously when they had the itch. Here, said they, was a tree whose bark had actually been rubbed by, and afforded relief to, those noble dogs whose teeth and claws had torn out the eyes and bowels of their enemies, and stopped the exactions of the foreign fleas of Kyhidom, and had established that glorious Liberty by which the interests of the native suckers of Canisville had been so gloriously compacted and built up. This, then, was the Tree of Liberty, on which the Blessed Bell of Liberty should hang.
And it was so. And they made the specially fumigated, consecrated dogs transplant it into the Liberty Earth. And on the day of the Solemn Hanging, The Holy Tintinnabulator was escorted with shouts of joy, and to the vociferous chanting of a magnificent Jubilate Deo, and set up on the Liberty Limb of the Liberty Tree.