AND it was told the fleas that a dog had arisen, that had said: “Fleas, ye fools, fleas,” and had drawn several other dogs after him, whom he had taught to say likewise.
And the eminent fleas, and the big fleas, and the Monstrous Fleas, gathered themselves together, and sent a quick flea unto certain wise fleas saying, “Haste ye, and come quickly to our aid, for the dread pestilence hath broken out; tarry not in all the way, for the matter is urgent.”
And the wise fleas came on the hop and the skip and the jump, and said: “We told you so; we did advise you not to despise the day of small symptoms; but ye heeded not our advice. Therein ye did err; for it is well known that we know a thing or two. We did advise you that that intent gazing of the dogs did betoken the outbreak of an epidemic of thinking amongst them, which, had it been grappled with then, would have been easy to stamp out; but now we fear the disease has made dangerous progress. This thinking of theirs has reached the stage of audible expression, which is the stage of most rapid contagion and infection.”
“True, true,” said a Monstrous Flea—Andronicus Carnivorous—pale with affright; “We are credibly informed that some of these dogs have even lifted up their voices in the public places, and boldly told the other dogs that if they had no fleas they need never be hungry; to which some of the listening dogs, it is reported, replied, ‘Down with the fleas.’ And we have been informed—but for the truth of it we cannot vouch—that quite a number of those suffering from this truly terrible thinking disease, have formed what they call the ‘Flealess Dog Club,’ which slyly meets at midnight, and dances with delirious joy over the prophesied coming of a most dreadful time when all dogs will be free from all fleas of every sort and size.”
And all the assembled fleas cried out in chorus, “Alas, what shall we do?”
But the wise fleas said, “Courage, brethren; all is not lost; there is a margin of safety left, which, if utilized properly, will, with God’s blessing, restore these poor dogs to their usual state of insanity, and avert the danger of our extinction. Ye ought, of course, to have grappled with this malady in its incipiency; nevertheless, with an extra effort, lost time may be made up, and the disease stamped out. A Board of Public Safety must be formed at once.”
“Had we not better pass a law,” said a Monstrous Flea—Pharaoh Phrique—“making it a capital offence for a dog to think, and have all the guilty ones executed with great tortures? There’s nothing like striking terror into the hearts of the dogs, if you want to keep them good and healthy.”
“Aye! Aye!” chorused all the others fiercely, “that’s the talk.”