So the Committee went in a body to ask De Little Wit Blatherskite to be one of them, and they made profuse apologies for the slight they had unwittingly put upon him. And the Blatherskite was pleased to accept their apologies; and he went along with them.
CHAPTER XXVI.
The Bamboozling Committee Lays Out a Plan of Bamboozle.—Loud Noise and Great Show Relied on.—Every One to His Post.—Opening of the Bamboozle Assigned to Tee de Little Wit Blatherskite.—His Vision of Judgment.—Terrific Effect on the Dogs.
HAVING secured the invaluable Blatherskite, the Bamboozling Committee met very early in the morning, and President Chancy Mountebank Dephool Flea, in calling the Committee to order, said: “Brother Bamboozlers, it is laid upon us to save this our beloved land. As ye know, the Board of Public Safety has appointed us to work together with the Hunger Makers in keeping the dogs from thinking. To them, ye know, is appointed the duty of bleeding them within an inch of their lives, and keeping them so busy trying to catch up with their hunger that they will never have a moment to think a serious thought; and to us is appointed the duty of entertaining them during their moments of absolutely needful recreation, and keeping them so well amused that they shall have neither wish nor time to think.
“I need not tell you that the Hunger Makers are doing their duty con amore; so well that in their enthusiasm they are apt to overdo it. It behooves us therefore, to as well deserve our laurels as they do theirs. Where shall we begin, therefore?”
Then arose Wilhelm Bunkum Mak Tinley Flea, and said: “I move, respected President, that we recommend Pup McPoodle and the authorities to proclaim certain days to be legal holidays, and days of recreation for the dogs, and that on those days the dogs be gathered together, when we will each take a turn in amusing and edifying them. I will take one turn, and I flatter myself that during my turn, I can demonstrate to them then the moon is made of green cheese; then our much beloved brother, Andronicus Carnivorous, shall take another; my dear chum, Harry Grandadhat shall take a third; you, most excellent humbug, shall take a fourth, and our ever-ready old stand-by and reverend barker, Tee de Little Wit Blatherskite, who is always bursting big and full with gorgeous gush, and perennially on tap, shall fill up all other intervals.”
Andronicus arose and said: “I crave permission to second the motion of my brother Bunkum Mak Tinley Flea. It is good. I deprecate the ascription to me of any very great ability in the line of bamboozling. I have the highest pleasure in yielding the palm to you, dear Mountebank Dephool, and to the superlative Blatherskite, in having whom with us we are blessed and honored above measure. For my part I am but a superficial, transparent, and inferior sort of every-day liar, with no ability, like you, my dear colleagues, to palm off on the dogs a lie as the most sacred Gospel truth; but I do modestly claim that I possess a very creditable ability to play the hypocrite; I believe everyone who knows me admits that; but, be my talents what they may, I am willing to consecrate them all to the good of the dogs and the salvation of this, my adopted country.”