And the Great Many Headed answered, and said: “I am the Great Gee Whizz, having a Larger Circulation than all the other Gee Whizzes combined. I am the bold, fearless, outspoken and independent champion of truth, honesty, uprightness and good government, and the terror of evil doers; and I am going about just now seeking an owner whom I may serve.”
“What are thy terms?” asked the Bamboozling Committee, seeing here a possibly great aid in the Cause.
“My terms are one only,” replied the Phenomenon, “and are that my master shall be the highest bidder for my services.”
“And what wilt thou do for us if we hire thee?” asked the Committee.
“Absolutely what ye ask me to do; for he that hireth me is my god until a higher bidder appeareth, when I instantly transfer my allegiance.”
“What we desire done now,” said the Bamboozlers, “is the invention of handy bamboozlements to fill up the time between one Bamboozle Day and another.”
“Good!” exclaimed the Great Gee Whizz. “Bid high and I am yours, and ye shall never regret your bargain.”
So the Bamboozling Committee asked the Monstrous Fleas present to put up great wealth and buy him for their service, which service, they reminded the Monstrous Fleas, was the Public Service.
And the Monstrous Fleas there and then bid enormously high for him, and bought him; and the Phenomenon did there and then contract himself, body and soul, unto the Bamboozling Committee and their backers, the Monstrous Fleas, to execute their will in all things until a higher bidder for his services should appear.
And they said: “O, thou Great Gee Whizz, wherewith wilt thou persuade the dogs and bamboozle them, for they be many?”