“You want to register, do you?” said the landlord in answer to Barnes’ inquiry, as the latter entered the office, the walls of which were covered with advertisements of elections, auctions, sales of stock, lands and quack medicines.
“We don’t keep no register,” continued the landlord, “but I guess we can accommodate you, although the 124 house is rather full with the fellers from the ark. Or,” he added, by way of explanation in answer to the manager’s look of surprise, “Philadelphia freight wagons, I suppose you would call them. But we speak of them as arks, because they take in all creation. Them’s the occupants, making a Mount Ararat of the porch. They’re down-hearted, because they used to liquor up here and now they can’t, for the town’s temperance.”
“I trust, nevertheless, you are prepared for a season of legitimate drama,” suggested Barnes.
The other shook his head dubiously. “The town’s for lectures clear through,” he answered. “They’ve been making a big fuss about show folks.”
The manager’s countenance did not fall, however, upon hearing this announcement; on the contrary, it shed forth inscrutable satisfaction.
No sooner were they settled in far from commodious quarters than preparations for the future were seriously begun; and now the drama proceeded apace, with Barnes, the moving spirit. Despite his assertion that he was no scholar, the manager’s mind was the storehouse of a hundred plays, and in that depository were many bags of gold and many bags of chaff. From this accumulation he drew freely, frankly, in the light-fingered fashion of master playwrights and lesser theatrical thimble-riggers.
Before the manager was a table––the stage!––upon which were scattered miscellaneous articles, symbols of life and character. A stately salt-cellar represented the leading lady; a pepper box, the irascible 125 father; a rotund mustard pot, the old woman; a long, slim cruet, the ingenue; and a pewter spoon, the lover.
Barnes gravely demonstrated the action of the scene to Saint-Prosper, and the soldier became collaborator, “abandoning, as it were,” wrote the manager in his autobiographical date-book and diary, “the sword for the pen, and the glow of the Champ de Mars for the glimmer of a kerosene lamp.” And yet not with the inclination of Burgoyne, or other military gentlemen who have courted the buskin and sock! On the contrary, so foreign was the occupation to his leaning, that often a whimsical light in his eye betrayed his disinclination and modest disbelief in his own fitness for the task. “He said the way I laid out an act reminded him of planning a campaign, with the outriders and skirmishers before; the cavalry arrayed for swift service, and the infantry marching steadily on, carrying with them the main plot, or strength of the movement.”
No sooner were the Salt Cellar and Pepper Box reunited, and the Pewter Spoon clasped in the arms of the loving Cruet, with the curtain descending, than Barnes, who like the immortal Alcibiades Triplet could turn his hand to almost anything, became furiously engaged in painting scenery. A market-place, with a huge wagon, containing porkers and poultry, was dashed off with a celerity that would have made a royal academician turn green with envy. The Tiddly Wink Inn was so faithfully reproduced that the painted bottles were a real temptation, while on the pastoral 126 green of a rural landscape grazed sheep so life-like that, as Hawkes observed, it actually seemed “they would eat the scenery all up.” But finally sets and play were alike finished, and results demonstrated that the manager was correct in his estimate of such a drama, which became a forerunner of other pieces of this kind, “The Bottle,” “Fruits of the Wine Cup,” “Aunt Dinah’s Pledge,” and “Ten Nights in a Bar Room.”
In due time the drama was given in the town hall, after the rehearsals had been witnessed by a committee from the temperance league, who reported that the play “could not but exercise a good influence and was entertaining withal ... We recommend the license to be issued and commend the drama to all Good Templars.” Therefore, the production was not only well attended, but play and players were warmly received. The town hall boasted a fairly commodious platform which now served the purpose of a stage, and––noteworthy circumstance!––there were gas jets for footlights, the illuminating fluid having at that early date been introduced in several of the more progressive villages. Between the acts, these yellow lights were turned low, and––running with the current of popular desire––the orchestra, enlarged to four, played, by special request, “The Old Oaken Bucket.”