Once as I came tearing round the hospital calling for one of the medical officers, L—— and his companions, now emulating the frenzied language and manners of racecourse frequenters, and forming field glasses with their hands, were bawling at the tops of their voices.
"Tattenham Corner! Hooray! Mahoney wins!"
At that moment I ran full tilt, not into Dr. Ascher as I had hoped, but against a young military doctor. I almost upset him in this spirited desperate obstacle race.
"What's the matter now?" he asked in surprise.
As this young doctor had always proved to be a decent fellow I stopped and related my story. He listened very attentively.
"You had no business to do that!" he commented. "You should have obeyed the order and then have reported it to me or some other officer to be redressed."
"Well, he just about maddened me to the limit!"
"No matter! It may be a serious thing for you. You shouldn't have thrown the dirty water over him. You've insulted the uniform!"
By this time my pursuer had arrived. He was puffing heavily and his legs were bent. He could not have run another hundred yards even if a dozen battle-maddened Kilties had been after him. Catching sight of the doctor he pulled himself to "attention" as well as he could. I had to turn away to laugh. He presented the most ludicrous specimen of a German soldier that I have ever witnessed. His face was as red as a beet-root from his exertion, his eyes were wide open, while his mouth was fully agape. He could not utter a word as he had lost his breath, while being soddened from head to foot he was commencing to steam merrily.
When he had partially recovered his composure he related his version of the story in a meek tone, no doubt hoping to excite pity. But I noticed that the young medical officer had to bite his moustache to maintain a straight face and I think this practically saved the situation.