THE VALUE OF A NAME.
The garrulity peculiar to men of his age, must excuse the frequent introduction of remarks foreign to the narrative; and when I tell my readers, that my friend is a man of deep reflection and high toned moral sentiment, as well as acute observation, they will not be surprised at his occasional illustration of fact by reference to principle.
“The practice of the aborigines of this country,” said he, “of giving names to men and things, indicative of their qualities and exploits, is well considered savage. Since the day when the poet first propounded the question ‘what’s in a name?’ mere moralists have been at fault. But modern practical skill has discovered that there is much; and it was left for the originators of the Morrison Kennel, to find out the best use that could be made of it, viz: that it may be made to cover one purpose under color of another—may gain credit for what it is not, and shield from detection what it really is, or may gull a State with the promise of improvement, and cheat the people of their money for their credulity. In short, the advantages to a stock company of a judicious choice of a name, are incalculable; not the least of which arises from properly compounding it, so as to mean more things than one, as the Morrison Kennel and Banking Company. One peculiar advantage of this last is, that as the projectors are not always certain what they will do, but intend to be governed by their success, they are thereby enabled to shift their course to suit the breeze.”
WHY THIS WAS CALLED KENNEL.
“This company would probably never have attained the soubriquet of Kennel, a mere play upon the original sound, but for the remarkable financial talents of Nicholas the 1st, profanely called old Nick, in the first place, and its employment afterwards to help to hold up the sides of the great bull dog of Pennsylvania, ycleped the U. S. Bank, who had grown so weak from disease, that it was feared, without such aid, his attempt to bark, would prove a concussion of air from the wrong orifice. In other words it was feared, that without collateral support, the first resumption would not last as long as the second did.
“The circumstances which called into activity the financial talents of Nicholas, deserve a particular notice, as they have an important bearing on this history. And for that purpose, I must introduce to you a gentleman well known in Wall-street; of amiable disposition, gentlemanly deportment and honorable connections. His person may be known from his resemblance to king Saul, being taller, by the head, than any of his tribe of brokers, and, as he bears the appellative of an immortalized Friend, and the signification will be descriptive of his character, I will call him Mr. Friendly.”
MR. FRIENDLY AND HIS APPETITE.
“The only thing remarkable about this gentleman is, his extraordinary appetite; from which, taken with his slender proportions, it has been inferred by some, that, like the bird most avoided by sportsmen, his alimentary canal consists only of a straight passage; for he has been known to gorge and digest more stocks in one day, than the weight or bulk of his whole body in the certificates.”
FRIENDLY’S CAUTION.
“With this introduction of a part of the ‘dramatis personæ,’—having already described, with some particularity, the motive for, and the manner of, getting up stock companies, with such parts of their general management as can be interesting to the public—I will commence with the Morrison Kennel, at that point when the causes for the activity before alluded to commenced, viz: precisely at that time, when the directors had expended the whole amount of capital subscribed, together with a loan of seven hundred thousand dollars obtained in Holland, in digging a ditch through the State of New Jersey, which served little other purpose than to drown the Jersey farmers’ pigs—without any one of the said directors having cleared more than fifty thousand dollars out of the company, by means of contracts or otherwise—when their credit was exhausted, the stock reduced in market to one fifth its original cost, and the directors ready, on the first symptom of alarm, to take to their heels for safety. Then, fortunately for them, Mr. Friendly, desirous of improving his fortune, which at this time he found to be in rather a waning condition, formed a scheme of speculation in the stock, commensurate with the vastness of his own desires; and, with this view, he began with the caution and finesse of one who has a game to play. He first ascertained that some of the directors were still in possession of a considerable amount of the stock; whom he could, very probably, draw to his own interest by endeavoring to aid them; and he then proceeded to the office of Mr. Bottomly.”