This sounds rather nice, and it's perfectly clear it
Would have sounded more nice if I'd happened to hear it;
The men were less civil, and gave me a rub,
So I happened to hear when I went to the Club.
Says Brown, "I shall drop Mr. Placid's society;"
But Brown is a prig of improper propriety.
"Confound him," says Smith (who from cant's not exempt),
"Why, he'll bring immorality into contempt."
Says I (to myself), when I found me alone,
"My wife has my heart, is it wholly her own?"
And further, says I (to myself), "I'll be shot
If I know if Selina adores me or not."
Says Jones, "I've just come from the scavi, at Veii,
And I've bought some remarkably fine scarabæi."
TO PARENTS AND GUARDIANS.
Papa was deep in weekly bills,
Mama was doing Fanny's frills,
Her gentle face full
Of woe; said she, "I do declare
He can't go back in such a Pair,
They're too disgraceful!"
"Confound it," quoth Papa—perhaps
The ban was deeper, but the lapse
Of time has drowned it:
Besides, 'tis badness to suppose
A worse, when goodness only knows
He meant Confound it.
The butcher's book—that unctuous diary—
Had made my Parent's temper fiery,
And bubble over:
So quite in spite he flung it down,
And spilt the ink, and spoilt his own
Fine table-cover
Of scarlet cloth! Papa cried "pish!"
Which did not mean he did not wish
He'd been more heedful:
"Good luck," said he, "this cloth will dip,
And make a famous pair—get Snip
To do the needful."