“‘No, sir; father only said that there was one doe rabbit and nine little ones killed. He asked 4 shillings, 6 pence, for the old one, but only 1 shilling, 6 pence a-piece for the young ones.’
“‘You should have been there yourself, sir,’ observed the tipstaff.
“‘I wish Caesar had left the rabbit alone. So it appears,’ replied I, ‘he only asked 3 shillings, 6 pence, at first; but by this Caesarean operation, I am nineteen shillings out of pocket.’—Now, sir, what do you think of that?”
“I think that you should exclaim against the dishonesty of the potato-merchant, rather than the judgment of the Court. Had you defended your own cause, you might have had justice.”
“I don’t know that. A man makes a claim against another, and takes his oath to it; you must then either disprove it, or pay the sum; your own oath is of no avail against his. I called upon my legal friend, and told him how I had been treated, and he then narrated the following circumstance, which will explain what I mean:—
“He told me that he never knew of but one instance in which a respectable person had gained his cause, and in which, he was ashamed to say, that he was a party implicated. The means resorted to were as follows:— A Jew upholsterer sent in a bill to a relation of his for a chest of drawers, which had never been purchased or received. Refusing to pay, he was summoned to the Court of Rights. Not knowing how to act, he applied to my informant, who, being under some obligations to his relative, did not like to refuse.
“‘I am afraid that you’ll have to pay,’ said the attorney to his relation, when he heard the story.
“‘But I never had them, I can swear to it.’
“‘That’s of no consequence; he will bring men to swear to the delivery. There are hundreds about the Court who are ready to take any oath, at half-a-crown a head; and that will be sufficient. But, to oblige you, I’ll see what I can do.’
“They parted, and in a day or two my legal acquaintance called upon his relation, and told him that he had gained his cause. ‘Rather at the expense of my conscience, I must acknowledge,’ continued he; ‘but one must fight these scoundrels with their own weapons.’