“The last Will and Testament of Christopher Cadaverous, Gentleman, of Copse horton, in the County of Cumberland.
“I, Christopher Cadaverous, being at this time in sound mind, do hereby make my last will and testament.
“First, I pray that I may be forgiven all my manifold sins and wickedness, and I do beg forgiveness of all those whom I may have injured unintentionally or otherwise; and at the same time do pardon all those who may have done me wrong, even to John Jones, the turnpike man, who unjustly made me pay the threepenny toll twice over on Easter last, when I went up to receive my dividends.
“My property, personal and real, I devise to my two friends, Solomon Lazarus, residing at Number 3, Lower Thames-street, and Hezekiah Flint, residing at Number 16, Lothbury, to have and to hold for the following uses and purposes:—
“First, to my dearly beloved niece, Clementina Montagu, I leave the sum of one hundred and fifty pounds, three and a half per cent consols, for her sole use and benefit, to be made over to her, both principal and interest, on the day of her marriage.” (Edward withdraws his arm from Clementina’s waist—turns half round from her, and falls back in his chair with a pish!)
“To my nephew, Thomas Montagu, I leave the sum of nineteen pounds nineteen shilling and sixpence—having deducted the other sixpence to avoid the legacy duty.”
(Thomas turns from the lawyer with his face to the front of the stage; crossing his legs.)
“To my nephew, John Montagu, I leave also the sum of nineteen pounds nineteen shillings and sixpence.”
(John turns away in the same manner.)
“To my nephew, once removed, James Stirling, I leave the sum of five pounds to purchase a suit of mourning.”