“Never,” replied I.
“Well, then, as ’twill pass time away, I’ll just give you the long and the short of it, as the saying is. When I was just about twenty, and a smart lad in my own opinion, I was on board of a transport, and we had gone round to Portsmouth with a load of timber for the dockyard. It was not my first trip there, for, you see, the transport was employed wholly on that service; and during my cruising on shore I had taken up my quarters at the Chequer Board, a house a little way from the common Hard, in the street facing the dockyard wall; for, you see, Tom, it was handy to us, as our ship laid at the wharf, off the mast pond, it being just outside the dockyard gates. The old fellow who kept the house was as round as a ball, for he never started out by any chance from one year’s end, to another; his wife was dead; and he had an only daughter, who served at the bar, in a white cap with blue streamers; and when her hair was out of papers, and she put on clean shoes and stockings, which she did every day after dinner, she was a very smart neat built little heifer; and, being an only daughter, she was considered as a great catch to any one who could get hold of her. She had quite the upper hand of her father, who dared not say a word; and with others she would give herself no few airs. At one time she would be as sweet as sugar, and the next, without any cause, she’d ‘wonder at your imperance.’ It was difficult to know how to take her: it’s a bad thing for a girl to have a great fortune; they get so much flattery that it turns their heads. Well, Tom, I wasn’t looking after the money, as you’ll believe when I tell you so; but as she was very chatty with me, and allowed me to come inside the bar, which was considered as a great favour, to help rinse the glasses, and so on, and as the other men used to joke with me, and tell me that I should carry off the prize, I began to think that she was fond of me, and so very naturally I became fond of her; and we met and we parted (and she would allow me to kiss her when we parted), until I was quite gone altogether, and did nothing but think of her all day and dream of her all night. Well, the last time that I was in the transport to Portsmouth, I had made up my mind to clench the business, and as soon as the sails were furled, I dressed myself in my best toggery, and made all sail for the old house. When I came in I found Peggy in the bar, and a very fancy sort of young chap alongside of her. I did not think so much of that, and I was going inside the bar to shake hands as usual, when says she, ‘Well, I should not wonder,’ pulling to the half-door, as if she were surprised at my attempting to come in.
“‘Oh, ho!’ says I, ‘are you on that tack? what next?’ and then I looked more at the chap, and he was a very nice young man, as the saying is. As I afterwards found out, he was in the smuggling line between Cherbourg and our coast, and he had Frenchified manners, and he talked little bits of French, and he had French gloves for presents, and had ear-rings in his ears, and lots of rings on his fingers. So I took my seat at the wooden benches near the fire, just as sulky as a bear with a sore head, watching their manoeuvres: at last he walked out, kissing his hand as she smiles. As the coast was clear I went up to the bar.
“‘Well,’ says I, ‘Peggy, so the wind’s shifted, is it?’
“‘What do you mean?’ says she. ‘I suppose I may be civil to another person as well as to you.’
“‘Yes, I see no objection,’ says I; ‘but why was he to be inside the bar, and I put out?’
“‘Oh,’ replied she, ‘one at a time, you know, Mr Philip. I haven’t made any promises to you that I know of.’
“‘That’s very true,’ replied I, ‘but—’
“‘Oh, you mustn’t fret here,’ interrupted she. ‘I’m my own mistress, I suppose. However, I’ll tell you this much, that I don’t care a bit about him, and that’s the truth of it—but I did not like your coming inside the bar so quietly, as if you had a right there, for I don’t want people to make remarks.’
“Well, the end of it was that she pacified me, and we were as great friends almost as ever: I say almost, for I had my eyes upon her and that chap, and did not much like it. A week after my arrival there was to be a fair over at Ryde, in the Isle of Wight, and I asked Peggy whether she would go with me; but she refused, saying that she was obliged to go to her aunt’s out at Limberhook, who was very old, and had sent for her, so I thought nothing more about the matter. Well, the day before the fair, as we were busy in the forenoon getting the timber out of the vessel, one of my shipmates, who went to the same house, says to me, ‘I say, Tom, when I was at the Chequers last night, I overheard Peggy promise to go to the Ryde Fair with that Frenchified smuggling chap.’