Chapter Nineteen.
I am tempted again—My pride is roused, and my course of life is changed in consequence.
I passed a dreaming restless night, and woke early. I recalled all that had passed, and I felt very much dissatisfied with myself; the fifteen shillings, with the added prospect of receiving more, did not yield me the satisfaction I had anticipated. From what the men had said about old Nanny I thought that I would go and see her; and why? because I wished support against my own convictions. If I had not been actuated by such a feeling I should, as usual, have gone to old Anderson. When I went down to breakfast I felt confused, and I hardly dared to meet the clear bright eye of my little sister, and I wished the fifteen shillings out of my pocket. That I might appear to her and my mother as if I were not guilty, I swaggered; my sister was surprised, and my mother justifiably angry. As soon as breakfast was over, I hastened to old Nanny’s.
“Well, Jack,” said she, “what brings you here so early?”
“Why, mother, I was desired to ask you a question last night—between ourselves.”
“Well, why don’t you ask it, since it’s between ourselves?” replied she, with surprise.
“Some of the people want to know if you fence now?”
“Jack,” said old Nanny, harshly, “who asked you that question, and how did you fall into their company? Tell me directly; I will know.”