As he said this, he perceived one of the beeldars, or officers of the caliph’s household, pass by him. “That would be a nice office,” thought Yussuf, “and the caliph does not count his people like the cadi. It requires but an impudent swagger, and you are taken upon your own representation.” Accordingly, nowise disheartened, and determined to earn his six dirhems, he returned home, squeezed his waist into as narrow a compass as he could, gave his turban a smart cock, washed his hands, and took a peeled almond-wand in his hand. He was proceeding down stairs, when he recollected that it was necessary to have a sword, and he had only a scabbard, which he fixed in his belt, and cutting a piece of palm-wood into the shape of a sword, he fixed it in, making the handle look smart with some coloured pieces of cotton and silk, which he sewed with packthread. Thus marched he out, swaggering down the streets, and swinging his twig of almond-tree in his hand. As he strutted along every one made way for him, imagining him to be one of those insolent retainers of office, who are supported by the great khans. Thus he continued a straight course, until he arrived at the market-place, where a multitude was assembled round two men, who were fighting desperately. Yussuf pressed forward, the crowd making way for him on both sides, either taking him for an officer of the household, or dreading the force of his nervous and muscular proportions. When he reached the combatants, they were covered with dirt and blood, and engaged so furiously, that no one dare separate them. Yussuf, perceiving the dread which he inspired, and that he was taken, as he wished to be, for a beeldar, first clapped his hand to the handle of his pretended sword, and then struck the combatants several sharp blows with his almond stick, and thus induced them to leave off fighting. The sheick, or head of the bazaar, then approached Yussuf, and making an obeisance, presented him with six dirhems, with a prayer that he would seize the culprits, and carry them before the caliph for punishment, as disturbers of the public peace.
Yussuf, securing the money in his girdle, seized up the two combatants, and carrying one under each arm, walked off with them. A great crowd followed, with many prayers for the release of the prisoners; but Yussuf turned a deaf ear, until another six dirhems were dropped into his vest, with a prayer for mercy. Upon this Yussuf consented to release them, and walked away, hardly able to contain his exultation. “I am Yussuf,” cried he, “and I trust in God. As a beeldar will I live and die. By Allah! I will go to the palace, and see how it fares with my brother beeldars.”
Now there were thirty beeldars in the service of the caliph, who attended the palace in rotation, ten each day. On reaching the court of the palace, Yussuf took his station where the ten beeldars on duty were collected together. He observed, however, that they were different from himself, very slight young men, and dressed in a very superior style. He felt some contempt for their effeminate appearance contrasted with his own muscular frame, but could not keep his eyes off their handsome and stylish dress. Meanwhile the chief of the beeldars perceived him, and knowing that he did not belong to the palace, imagined from his appearance and his presenting himself among them that he must be one in the service of one of the great omrahs who were at Bagdad, who, having nothing to do at home, had come as a visitor to the palace. He remarked this to his brother beeldars, saying, “This fine-built stranger ought to be considered as our guest. Let us show him all courtesy, for he is of our profession, and therefore we shall not do ourselves credit if we do not prove that we have the power to serve him.” The other beeldars agreeing with him, the chief went to the secretary of the treasury and procured an order of notice upon a rich confectioner, to pay into the treasury the sum of five thousand dirhems, due by him upon several accounts therein specified. The vizier’s seal having been attached to it, he went with it to where Yussuf was standing. “What ho! brother beeldar,” said the chief.
“I am Yussuf, and my trust is in God; I am ready to obey your commands,” said the water-carrier, advancing with great humility.
“May I request, brother beeldar, that you will do us of the palace the very great favour to carry this paper, bearing the vizier’s seal, to Mallem Osman, the great confectioner, and request the immediate payment of five thousand dirhems. You know your profession; of course the money is not expected, but whatever he may offer you for affording him a respite put down to the friendship and good will of the beeldars of the palace, and remember us when you feast in your own dwelling.”
Yussuf, highly delighted, put the order into his cap, made a low salaam, and departed on his message. Deeming it beneath his new-fledged dignity to walk, he mounted one of the asses ready for hire at the corner of the streets, ordering the driver to hasten before to clear the way, and ascertain which was the dwelling of the confectioner. The house of Mallem Osman was soon discovered, for he was the most celebrated of his trade, and had an immense business. Yussuf rode up on the beast, which was not half as large as himself, and stopped at the shop where the confectioner was superintending his work-people. “I am Yussuf, and my trust is in God,” said Yussuf, looking at the confectioner. The confectioner heeded him not, when Yussuf strutted into the shop. “I merely wait upon you, good Mallem Osman, to request that you will immediately repair to the palace, carrying with you five bags, each containing one thousand dirhems, of which there appears at present to be no chance of receiving an asper. This paper, sealed by the vizier, contains the order; and as you have the honour of being the caliph’s debtor, you will do well to rise and accompany me forthwith to the palace, not forgetting the needful.”
At this speech Mallem started up from his seat, advanced most submissively to Yussuf, took the paper and raised it to his head, addressing Yussuf with the most abject servility. “O most excellent, most valiant, and most powerful beeldar, how well doth the caliph select his officers! How favoured am I by Allah with your happy presence! I am your slave—honour me by refreshing yourself in my dwelling.”
Yussuf then threw the driver of the beast half a dirhem and dismissed him, breathed as if fatigued with his journey, and wiped his brow with his sleeve. The confectioner placed him in his own seat, and sent hastily to the bazaar for a large dishful of kabob, spread a napkin before Yussuf, and slicing a pomegranate strewed it over with pounded sugar and placed it before him, along with some sweet cakes and some honey. “O chief of beeldars!” said the confectioner, “it is my prayer that you deign to break your fast in the house of your servant. Will you amuse yourself with these trifles while something better is preparing?” Here one of the shopmen brought a bowl, into which he poured sherbet of the distilled juice of the lotus flower mingled with rose-water. The master placed this also before Yussuf, and intreated him to eat; but Yussuf, affecting the great man, held his head up in the air and would not even look that way. “Condescend to oblige me by tasting this sherbet, O chief!” continued the confectioner; “or I swear by Allah that I will divorce my youngest and most favourite wife.”
“Hold—hold, brother!” replied Yussuf; “rather than that the innocent should suffer, I will comply with your request; although to say the truth I have no appetite, having taken my breakfast from the caliph’s table in ten dishes, each dish containing three fowls dressed in a different fashion. I am so full that I can scarce draw my breath.”
“I fully comprehend that it is out of compassion to your slave that you comply with my request.”