“This is all very true, I dare say,” observed the pacha, “but you will oblige me by leaving out all those you knows, which I agree with your comrade Hussan to be very tedious.”
“That’s what I have already told him, your highness: ‘Ali,’ says I, ‘if you can only leave out your you knows,’ says I, ‘your story might be amusing, but,’ says I—”
“Silence with your says I’s,” observed the pacha; “have you forgotten the bastinado? there seems to be a pair of you. Ali, go on with the story, and remember my injunction; the felek and ferashes are at hand.”
“Well, your highness, one morning he rose earlier than usual, as he was anxious to be first in the market with some onions, which, you know, are very plentiful; and having laden his ass, he set off at a good round pace for the city. There, you know, he arrived at the market-place a little after the day had dawned, when, you know—”
“Did you not receive my orders to leave out you know. Am I to be obeyed or not? Now go on, and if you offend again you shall have the bastinado till your nails drop off.”
“I shall observe your highness’s wishes,” replied Ali.—“A little after the day had dawned, you—no, he, I mean, observed an old woman sitting near one of the fruit-stalls, with her head covered up in an old dark-blue capote; and as he passed by, you—she, I mean, held out one of her fingers, and said, ‘Ali Baba,’ for that was my father’s name, ‘Listen to good advice; leave your laden beast and follow me.’ Now my father, you know, not being inclined to pay any attention to such an old woman, replied, you know—”
“Holy Allah!” exclaimed the pacha in a rage to Mustapha, “what does this man deserve?”
“The punishment due to those who dare to disobey your highness’s commands.”
“And he shall have it; take him out; give him one hundred blows of the bastinado; put him on an ass, with his face turned towards the tail; and let the officer who conducts him through the town proclaim, ‘Such is the punishment awarded by the pacha to him who presumes to say that his highness knows, when in fact, he knows nothing.’”
The guards seized upon the unfortunate Ali, to put in execution the will of the pacha; and as he was dragged away, Hussan cried out, “I told you so; but you would not believe me.”