“That I knew before.”
“Then why ask any more questions? Had we not better proceed, and take him home to his expectant and unhappy wife? ’Tis a sad, sad thing, that a man should ‘put an enemy into his mouth to steal away his brains.’”
“Half a pint will do that with Rushbrook,” replied the pedlar; “they say that he was wounded on his head, and that half his brains are gone already, and that’s why he has a pension.”
“Yes, seventeen pounds a year; paid quarterly, without deduction, and only to walk four miles to get it,” replied Furness; “yet how misplaced is the liberality on the part of the government. Does he work? No; he does nothing but drink and lie in bed all day, while I must be up early and remain late, teaching the young idea at twopence per week. Friend Byres, ‘mercy is not itself which oft looks so.’ Now, it is my opinion that it would be a kindness to this poor wretch if we were to toss him, as he now is, over the bridge into the rushing stream; it would end all his troubles.”
“And save us the trouble of getting him home,” replied Byres, who determined to humour his more inebriated companion. “Well, Mr Furness, I’ve no objection. Why should he live? Is he not a sinecurist—one of the locusts who fatten on the sweat and blood of the people, as the Sunday paper says? Don’t you remember my reading it this morning?”
“Very true, Master Byres.”
“What d’ye say, then?—shall we over with him?”
“We must think a little,” replied the schoolmaster, who put his hand up to his chin, and remained silent for a minute or two. “No,” resumed he, at last; “on second thoughts I cannot do it. He halves his beer with me. No pension—no beer; that’s a self-evident proposition and conclusion. It were ingratitude on my part, and I cannot consent to your proposal,” continued the schoolmaster; “nay, more, I will defend him against your murderous intentions to the very last.”
“Why, Master Furness, you must be somewhat the worse for liquor yourself: it was your proposal to throw him over the bridge, not mine.”
“Take care what you say,” replied the schoolmaster; “would you accuse me of murder, or intent to murder?”