I cannot say what an impression the loyal Christian Scientists may have received from this performance on the part of their leader; but I am very certain that any man of common sense, who had sent money in response to Mrs. Eddy’s first card, when he perused the second would speedily come to the conclusion that he had been buncoed.
I cannot leave this subject without giving one more illustration of Mrs. Eddy’s commercial spirit. Those of us who were brought up in the old school of medical practice do not forget the utility of spoons in that connection; and I vividly recall being made, in the spring-time, to stand in line with my numerous brothers and sisters and to march unflinchingly upon a spoon overloaded with sulphur and molasses. But what earthly connection there can be between the purely mental treatment of Christian Science and the purely physical thing, spoon, is not at first glance perceptible. It is plain, however, that spoons were a feature of Mrs. Eddy’s business. She was engaged in the exploitation of revelations and spoons, and, pursuant to her successful method of extorting money, made an appeal to the credulity of her people, utilizing the old gag of the dissemination of Truth to promote even the sale of spoons. The following is her command to the faithful:
“Christian Science Spoons—On each of these most beautiful spoons is a motto in bas-relief that every person on earth needs to hold in thought. Mother requests that Christian Scientists shall not ask to be informed what this motto is, but each Scientist shall purchase at least one spoon, and those who can afford it, one dozen spoons, that their families may read this motto at every meal and their guests be made partakers of its simple truth.
“Mary Baker G. Eddy.”
This, it will be seen, is not an appeal, a request or a suggestion, but a command. “Each Scientist shall purchase at least one spoon, and those who can afford it, one dozen spoons.” There is a motto on the spoon, of whose simple truth, with their meals, it is urged that the families of the faithful may be given an opportunity to partake, and “Mother” especially requests that Christian Scientists shall not ask to be informed what this motto is. To be informed of the motto, would enable her following to partake of its simple truth without purchasing one dozen spoons or even a solitary spoon; and the sale of spoons, and not the consumption of truth, was the plain purpose of Mrs. Eddy’s command.
The price of spoons was three dollars apiece for the plain silver and five dollars apiece for those with gold plated bowls; and I know a gentleman in Washington, D.C., then a professed Christian Scientist, who parted with sixty good American dollars for one dozen Christian Science spoons.
Truly, are not Mrs. Eddy’s followers the very easiest “easy marks” that any bunco-steerer ever went up against!
How naturally we fall into the slang of the street or into the language in which the operations of common swindlers are characterized, when we discuss this “religion” and its high priestess!
Is there any possible doubt of the basic motive of this woman? Did any one ever hear of anything approaching the audacity of this brazen creature? Is it now clear, beyond possibility of cavil, that all of Mrs. Eddy’s absurd and irreverent pretensions have been merely unique business methods utilized to the utmost to give a fictitious value to her foolish and harmful teachings, and to extend the sale of her foolish and harmful writings?
Is the founder of Christian Science in very truth anything more than a peddler of “revelations;” a huxter, who makes a commodity of “religion”; as Mark Twain says, a shameless old swindler who reaches out her irreligious hand and grabs the sacred name of Jesus the more easily to cheat and rob poor confiding creatures while looking to her for health to their aching bodies and peace to their troubled souls? Is there a blasphemy, a mendacity, a cruelty, beyond that of Mary Baker G. Eddy? Is there a greed that approaches hers?