The Kingbolt Philosopher.
"I heered tell," said Uncle Ezra Mudge, "thet one of them-air brass-collared fellers down at St. Looey thinks he hez a baboon thet is the connectin' link betwixt men en monkeys. I seed the same thing over to [Lumpkinsville] the last time I wuz thar. I guess thet feller must hev gone down thar en caught it en put it in a cage. It wuz in some respects much like a human. It walked on two legs en wore clothes, shoes, a shirt en a hat like a man. It wuz erbout the size ov a fourteen-yar ole boy, en it kep' on smokin' cigerretts all the time. A feller tole me thar it 'ud smoke six boxes ov 'em a day. I don't see whut's the use ov goin' clar to St. Looey to see a thing like thet, when they keep plenty ov 'em as near as Lumpkinsville! Stan'nin' right out on the main streets, too, en not chargin' a-cent to look at it all ye want to!"
If you have the "good resolution habit" swear off on that and do business.
Little Sermons.
The man who has a good appetite needn't worry the Lord with any troubles.
If faith without works is dead, that of the average loafer must be worse than an Egyptian mummy.
The brother with the best lungs may pray the loudest, but that gives him no insurance of a cool place over yonder.