With this Resource, Armand might have lived very happy; but the Violence of his Temper, and his satirical Humour, made him quickly lose
his Patrons and best Friends. Besides these Defects, of which he was beyond all measure guilty, he was suspicious, haughty, self-will’d beyond Comparison, fantastical in every Part of his Behaviour, and an extravagant Admirer of his own Productions; so that a Person was sure of being thought the worst Enemy he had, if he did not applaud every thing he did; and ’twas enough to put him into a Fury, if one did not think as well of his Verses, as he did himself. Two or three Passages only are sufficient to demonstrate this to be true.
He lodged at the House of a Burgher, who had so great an Opinion of him, that he thought himself happy in having such Opportunities of Familiarity with a Man who had won his Heart by his Wit and his Behaviour. As they often eat and drank together, Armand invited his Landlord one Day with all his Family and some Relations to a Supper, when, according to his usual Way, he had provided a magnificent Repast. When they were seated at Table, a Lady of the Company thought fit to call for a particular Sort of Bread, which she had been used to eat; whereupon the Landlord immediately sent out of the Room for some; which Armand perceiving, and mistrusting that they thought he had not provided Bread enough, he rose nastily from Table, and went out, but came back again in a Moment, with a Basket full of Bread, which he turned topsy-turvy upon the Table: And as if this Piece of Rudeness was not enough, he ran out of the House like a Madman, and spent the rest of the Evening in walking up and down, at a great Rate, before his Door.
Having heard, that M. P——, Agent for the Naval Affairs of France at Rotterdam, made Verses in a very pretty Manner; he went by the Inspiration
of Apollo, to pay him a Visit; and after having made him a Compliment on his Quality of Poet, he presented him some Verses of his own making, of which he earnestly desired that he would give him his Opinion. M. P——, who was not so fond of Flattery as Armand, made him Answer, That he had been misinformed; that he was far from being a good Judge of Poetry, and therefore hoped he would not look upon him in that Light. Armand took his Answer for a downright Affront, and retired bluntly from him, not without abusing him. Nor did Mr. C——r, to whom he paid a Visit for the same Purpose, fare a whit better; and to be revenged of both those Gentlemen, he wrote an Epigram against them, which he pasted up one Sunday at the Door of the French Church.
Armand being disgusted with the Reception he met with from the Wits at Rotterdam, had recourse to the Merchants. He went to see M. C——t, a Person of known Probity, either to present his Verses to him, or to offer him his Service, in Quality of a Writing-Master. As M. C——t was a little hard of Hearing, he thought it proper to apprize our Poet of it in the first Place; but he, imagining that ’twas only a Pretence to dismiss him, turned his Back upon him, and went away very much incensed at the Affront which he thought he had received. He had even the Rashness to fix up a very offensive Paper some Days after, at the Exchange, to tarnish the honest Man’s Reputation; and the same being immediately torn down by M. C——t’s Friends, Armand, as soon as he heard of it, put up another, even more insulting than the former. M. C——t, to prevent his being again exposed to such Insults, carried his Complaints to the chief Magistrate of Rotterdam, who summoned the Author
of the Advertisement to appear before him. Armand obeyed the Writ, and pleaded in his own Defence, that being a Foreigner, he did not know he had done any thing that was prohibited by the Laws of the Country; but that having been lately informed of the contrary, he was willing to make the Person injured any Amends that should be thought proper, and promised at the same Time to depart the City forthwith. The Magistrate put up with his Reasons, and only insisted, on the Performance of his Promise. Therefore he left the City, and set out to his former Quarters at Amsterdam.
The ill Success of his Verses was so far from abating his versifying Humour, that his Passion for Poetry was only become the stronger. At his Return to Amsterdam, he began to write Satires against his Enemies at Rotterdam, whom he accused of having ruined all his Projects. Then he undertook to turn the tender Amours of Abelard and Eloisa into Burlesque Verse. This Piece, full of Obscenities, and of satirical Lashes of his Enemies, quickly ran thro’ all the Coffee-houses; and when he thought he had put the finishing Stroke to it, he met with a Bookseller, who was willing to undertake the Printing of it, tho’ it had been despised by all good Judges.
While this Work was printing, Armand contracted a Friendship with the Count de Bucquoy, so well known for his Adventures and Extravagances. This Count too pretended to write Verses, and was as great a Rattle as Armand. Their Resemblance of each other so much in Temper, was judged at first to be such a Cement as would have consolidated their Friendship for a long Time: But a too great Freedom taken by the Count embroiled them implacably, and gave Rise to a Scene which had like to have been tragical. The Count,
who was not yet perfectly acquainted with his Friend’s Blind-side, took it into his Head one Day, as he was in Armand’s Chamber, to make a Criticism upon his Poetry, which was a little too severe. Armand, to whom nobody had ever presumed before to talk at that Rate, was in a furious Passion, and called his Censor an impudent Fool, and a Fortune-Hunter. At last the two Poets fell to Blows; but Armand being the strongest Man, he forced the Count out of his Chamber, kick’d him down Stairs, and so drove him into the Street.