You must allow the French are merry Mortals. Let what will happen, they’ll find something or other in it to divert them. Every thing is to them a Subject for a Song; and I remember to have heard of a Ballad they made and sung upon the Plague in Provence, in 1720. Mean time, these Jarrings between the Court and Parliament have absolutely effac’d the Memory of the blessed Paris. ’Tis true, he began to be out of Vogue, after the Court caus’d the Church-yard of St. Medard to be stopp’d up, where he lies interr’d. If this had been done at first, a great deal of Scandal would have been prevented. I am very sorry I can’t stay to see what will be the End of all these Things; but my Affairs call me to Germany, whither I propose to set out the first Opportunity; therefore write to me no more at present.
Two Days ago, I saw such a Slur put upon the Charms of a young Lady, that she was thoroughly mortified. ’Twas the Marchioness de R——, one of the Ladies of the Bed-chamber. She has been us’d, for a long time, to daub her Face very awkwardly, with a great deal of White, Red, and Patches; but on that Day she out-did herself. She came into the Garden of the Thuilleries, on Purpose to be admir’d; for she has the Reputation of a very great Coquette: But she was hooted at by a great many smart Fellows that follow’d her, and gather’d all the Mob about her, so that the poor Lady was glad to retire; and being oblig’d to wait a little for her Coach, was very much hiss’d into the Bargain by those prodigal Puppies the Lacqueys; so that in my Life I never saw a Woman more run down.
The same Night I supped with the Marquis de L——, whom I had never seen before. I was told by a certain Lady, That he ow’d his Fortune to an old Woman: For tho’ he was a Man of a good Family, yet, being a younger Brother, he was not rich. When he was twenty Years of Age, he pleased the Marchioness de L——, who was threescore and ten, to such a Degree, that she offer’d to marry him; and the Marquis, who was then but a plain Gentleman, did not want very much Intreaty to accept the Proposal; for tho’ he was a Man of a handsome Presence, he did not presume to think that any young Woman would fall in Love with him, who had one hundred and fifty thousand good Livres a Year to her Fortune, which was what the Marchioness really had to bestow upon whom she pleased. As the two Lovers return’d from the Church of St. Sulpice, where they were married, the Marchioness carried her Spouse to her own House; and leading him into an Apartment, You need not be afraid, Sir, said
she; don’t imagine that I married you to toy with. This is your Apartment; mine is on the other Side of the House. You shall lie here, and I’ll lie in my own Chamber. I was willing to make a Man of you, because I took you for a deferring young Fellow: But this I could not do, without taking you to be my Husband; and I had rather it should be said, that I am an old Fool for marrying a young Fellow, than to give any Colour for reporting, that I keep you in Pay. ’Tis more honourable both for you and me, that we are married; for now I can do what I please for you without the Censure of the Public. This, too, is what I have resolv’d on; and as I have no Relations, you may depend upon it, that all I have in the World will be one Day or other your own. All the Acknowledgment I desire of you, is some little Share in your Respect, and I am persuaded you are too much of a Gentleman to use me ill. Judge you how much the Marquis was surprised, at a Speech which he so little expected. He was ready to fall at the Feet of his Bride, and to give her Proofs of his Ecstasy of Love, when she push’d him from her, and said, None of these extraordinary Fits, I beseech you, Sir; let us live together like Friends: All the rest is superfluous. In short, she gave him to understand, ’twas her absolute Determination, that he should never think of her as his Wife. The Marquis was obliged to comply; and after having liv’d thus in perfect Harmony for seven Years, the Lady died, and left her Husband Heir to all her Estate.
The young Fellows undoubtedly stand the best Chance for the great Fortunes. I had Engagements here, when I was but twenty-two Years of Age, with an old Lady too, but she was not altogether to disinterested as the Marchioness de L——; for tho’ she was kind to me, she obliged me to a great deal of Duty. This Lady of mine was forty Years older than myself; yet
what with Patches, and the Red and the White, her Charms were renewed every Day to such a Degree, that ’twas well I was twenty-two Years of Age, or else they would have frightened me. But fourscore thousand Livres a Year, which I always kept in View, made me take that for natural, which was only artificial; insomuch that if I had been put to my Oath, I know not whether I should not have sworn that my superannuated Mistress was but in her Teens. We lived a couple of Years together very lovingly. The Lady happened to have two Sons living, old enough both of ’em, to be my Fathers; yet she did not despair of having another Brood. For this End she proposed Matrimony to me, and I freely consented. But my Sons-in-law in futuro, being advertised, by whom I know not, where I had appointed a Meeting with their Mother, came and fell at her Feet, and conjured her not to wrong them and their Children, (for they were both married) by marrying me. The Lady was stagger’d in her Resolution, and was just going to promise her Sons, that she would not have me; when I came to her in the Nick of Time, and so encouraged her by my Presence, that she got the better of her Weakness.
Mean time, the Sons sprung a new Mine, which answered their End. Their Mother was a Coquet, but one of the pious Sort, and devoted that Time to God, which she did not spend with me, or at her Toilet. The Sons detached a Priest of St. Sulpice to her. The holy Man chose his Opportunity when I was abroad. I did not foresee, that a Blow would come from such a Quarter; or else the Swiss, and all her Domestics, being my Creatures, I could easily have kept him out of the House. He discharged his Commission so effectually, that he prevailed to have the
Signing of the Marriage Articles, which were to have been executed the very next Day, put off for three Months longer. I was not very much chagrin’d when I heard this News; for I confess, I flatter’d myself, that ’twas not possible for the Lady to escape me. By the Description I have given you of my Sweetheart, you will imagine that I was not over Head and Ears in Love. Whatever Scruple the Priest of St. Sulpice had raised in her, she carried it to me the same as ever: We still liv’d very lovingly together, and I had considerable Presents made to me, which I squandered away as fast as I received. At the same Time, I did not dare to mention any Writings for my Security; and to talk to a Mistress of threescore Years and ten, about making her Last Will and Testament, was, I thought, a strange kind of Courtship, and the Way to spoil all.
Nevertheless, this Misfortune fell upon me, when I least of all expected it. As I went one Morning into my Dear’s Chamber, I found her at her Toilet, complaining of a great Pain in her Head. She told me, That she was in a sad Quandary too, because she had invited People to Dinner, but was not in a Condition to keep them Company; and she desired me, therefore, to do them the Honours of her House: But I prevailed with her to send Word to those whom she had invited, that she was ill, and that she should be glad to see them another Time. I then left her, with a Promise to come back and dine with her; and having taken a Walk, I returned accordingly; when I found her dress’d more gay than usual. She told me, that a Dish or two of Coffee had quite remov’d her Head-ach, and that she had trick’d herself up to please me. We din’d together, but she eat very little, and began very soon to complain again; so