These were the thoughts which were uppermost in my mind when the dark hours of anxious meditation gave place to the first streaks of the dawn of perhaps the most memorable day of my life. Yes, I concluded, there is nothing for it now but submission; I must become, so to speak, the slave of those whom I have governed, I must be obedient to those who in every respect are my inferiors, and I must, above all, be patient: if by a careful practice of these I should succeed in saving my life and eventually recovering my liberty, no doubt the experience which I should gain would be valuable to the Government in whose service I still was. With this determination and resolution I rose, and dressed for the last time for many a long year in the uniform, the honour of which I had done my utmost to uphold, now to be discarded for the Mahdist garb, in which I was to play an entirely new part in life; but beneath it would beat a heart as truly loyal as ever to Government, and filled with a determination that, come what might, if it were God's will I should be eventually restored to liberty, the strange experiences which it would now be my fate to undergo might be turned to useful account. It was now to be a case of my wits against those of my new masters,—who would win? I did not quail from the contest, though I should have had no little excuse for doing so, could I have scanned the future, and seen before me the long years of servitude, and the double life which I should be compelled to lead, in order to carry through the resolution at which I had now arrived.
The next morning, the two officers arrived; I showed them Zogal's letter, calling on me to surrender peacefully, and to meet him on the 23rd of December at Hilla Shieria, where he would personally hand me the Mahdi's letter; he further wrote that, in accordance with his present instructions, my life and those of all the men, women, and children in the fort should be spared, and we should be afforded all protection.
Whilst we were talking over the matter, the orderly officer reported that Abder Rasul Agha, with all the Bazingers, as well as the chief merchant with his family, had deserted the town during the night, with the evident intention of joining the enemy.
This was the last straw. It was absolutely clear to me that further resistance was impossible. I therefore sent for my clerk and dictated to him a letter to Zogal, giving in my submission and that of the garrison, and agreeing to meet him at Hilla Shieria on the 23rd of December; this I handed to Gretli, with instructions to take it to Zogal, who was now to be called Sayed Mohammed Ibn Khaled.
The following day, in the afternoon, I assembled all the officers, and told them that, as further resistance was not possible, I had concurred in their proposals; that I was leaving Dara that evening in order to meet Zogal the next day at Hilla Shieria, and that I would take the Kadi with me, but would leave the officers to look after the garrison during my absence. In a few words, which seemed to stick in my throat, I thanked them for their loyalty, their readiness to sacrifice their lives in the service of the Government, and their adherence to me; then, warmly shaking each of them by the hand, and taking a general leave of the civil officials, I departed.
At midnight, accompanied by my kavasses, Kadi Wad el Beshir, Sultan Abakr el Begawi, Ismail Wad Barnu, and Muslem Wad Kabbashi, who remained faithful to the last, I quitted Dara. During my service in Darfur I had had many disagreeable experiences, but this journey was quite the hardest. Not a word passed. We were all fully occupied with our miserable thoughts. At sunset we made a short halt, but the food put before us by the servants remained untouched. Our appetites had gone, so we rode on. As we approached Hilla Shieria, I sent an orderly ahead to see if Zogal had arrived, and he soon returned, stating he had been there since yesterday, and was waiting for me. In a few moments we reached the spot where he was standing, and, jumping off my horse, I advanced to salute him; he pressed me to his heart, and assured me of his entire friendliness, begged me to be seated, and then handed me the Mahdi's letter. It merely stated that he had appointed Sayed Mohammed Khaled as Emir of the West, had granted me pardon, that he had commissioned his nephew to treat me with the respect to which my rank entitled me, and to act with leniency and forbearance to all those who were formerly Government officials. After I had finished reading the letter, Zogal informed me that it was entirely owing to his good offices on my behalf that the Mahdi had pardoned me, and that he would, of course, do his utmost to help me. I thanked him for his kind sympathy. The Emirs were then introduced to me: Elias, Tayeb, and Hassan Nejumi I had met before. After partaking of food, Zogal discussed his intended journey to Dara; whilst we were talking, one of my officers, Mohammed Agha Suleiman, arrived, and, without taking the smallest notice of me, went up and greeted Zogal most effusively; I at once recognised him as one of the three officers whom I had been told were "Black Zogal's" (as he was called) secret agents. Mohammed Khaled, as I must call him in future, now took me aside, and spoke to me about his relatives and his family. I told him that I had left them all well, and that the former were still in arrest. He at once said he quite concurred in the steps I had taken, which of course were in the interests of self-preservation, and best for us both. We then started off, and encamped the same evening near Dara. Several of the inhabitants and officials came out to greet the new governor, already dressed in their Dervish clothes.
During my absence, Mohammed Khaled had directed Abd es Samad, who was at Bringel with the Dervish troops, to move down towards Dara and occupy the buildings to the south of the town, which had formerly belonged to the Vizir Ahmed Shatta. Joined on his march by most of the country people, he had arrived at the appointed place, had established friendly relations with the townspeople and garrison, and had distributed quantities of the new clothing in presents.
That night I again passed almost without closing my eyes. It was Christmas Eve. I thought of home and of the beautiful Church festival which was being celebrated there, whilst I, alone and defeated, was handing over my men and arms to the enemy. In those still hours—they were the saddest in my life—I passed in review all that had happened. More fortunate by far were those who had fallen on the field of honour!
The next morning, Zogal officially received all those who had come out to pay homage to him, and then ordered them and the troops under Abd es Samad to march past. This over, he dismissed his relatives who had come out to greet him, regretting the discomfort they had suffered under arrest, and he then proceeded to his house outside the fort, having, meanwhile, ordered my men to hand over their arms by companies,—a duty which was performed with very scant regard for our feelings. The fort was now garrisoned by Dervish troops, and this completed his occupation of the country. The inhabitants flocked to him to give their oaths of allegiance to the Mahdi, and later in the day the troops were paraded by his order, to go through the same ceremony.
Madibbo, who had joined Abd es Samad at Bringel, and had come to Dara with him, followed me home. We shook hands, and I begged him to be seated; he then began: "You seem to be annoyed with me, and accuse me of having broken faith with you: but now listen to me. I was discharged from my position of head Sheikh by Emiliani, and proceeded to the Bahr el Arab, where the Mahdi's summons reached me. I am a good Moslem, and therefore I followed him; I beheld the Mahdi's divine nature, and listened to his doctrines; I was also present at the marvellous destruction of Yusef Shellali. I therefore believed in him, and am still a believer. You of course trusted in your strength, and did not wish to submit without fighting. We both fought, each seeking his own advantage: I fought against the Government, but not against you personally. God knows, I have never forgotten that you were friendly minded to me, therefore let anger depart from your heart and be a brother to me!"