“Count O——— has not written to me.”
“Not written? Why do you deny it? You keep up a confidential correspondence together, you and the count; I am quite aware of that. Come, you may confess it, for I have no wish to pry into your secrets.”
“Count O———,” replied I, “has not yet answered any of the three letters which I have written to him.”
“I have done wrong,” continued he; “don’t you think so?” (taking up one of the rouleaus) “I should not have done this?”
“I see that it was necessary.”
“I ought not to have reduced myself to such a necessity?”
I did not answer.
“Oh, of course! I ought never to have indulged my wishes, but have grown gray in the same dull manner in which I was brought up! Because I once venture a step beyond the drear monotony of my past life, and look around me to see whether there be not some new source of enjoyment in store for me—because I—”
“If it was but a trial, gracious sir, I have no more to say; for the experience you have gained would not be dearly bought at three times the price it has cost. It grieves me, I confess, to think that the opinion of the world should be concerned in determining the question—how are you to choose your own happiness.”
“It is well for you that you can afford to despise the world’s opinion,” replied he, “I am its creature, I must be its slave. What are we princes but opinion? With us it is everything. Public opinion is our nurse and preceptor in infancy, our oracle and idol in riper years, our staff in old age. Take from us what we derive from the opinion of the world, and the poorest of the humblest class is in a better position than we, for his fate has taught him a lesson of philosophy which enables him to bear it. But a prince who laughs at the world’s opinion destroys himself, like the priest who denies the existence of a God.”