CHAPTER XIII.
Let no man be too certain of anything; above all, let him not paint the devil on the wall, for he often comes when no man calls, and seldom waits for an invitation; some of the guests Henny had proposed that her husband should invite were already awaiting the arrival of their host and hostess at Gürlitz manor. All the inhabitants of Gürlitz village assembled in the court-yard of the manor as the dawn began to break on that summer morning and stood at the door ready to receive their master. "Lads," said Rührdanz, "what must be, must be; but do everything decently and in order!"--"Bother you and your order!" cried Willgans. "Has he ever treated us so?"--"That doesn't matter," said Rührdanz, "we must act so as to have the right on our side. See how foolish you are. When we go to our Grand Duke, as we ought to do, and tell him all about it, he may ask: 'How did you set about it, Willgans?' and if you have to answer: 'Oh, your Highness, we first thrashed the man and his wife and then turned them out of the place,' how do you think it would sound? And what tales do you think Mr. Pomuchelskopp would have to tell against you."--"Yes," replied old father Brinckmann, "Rührdanz is right. If we content ourselves with turning them out of the place, we shall be quit of them, and needn't mind what anyone may say afterwards." It was settled that this should be done. Behind the men were the women and girls, and the tall masculine looking woman who had attended the meeting on the previous morning was standing amongst them. She said: "They've gone as far as they will. If they don't chase that man and his wife out of the place I'll thrash the fellow as long as he can stand."--"Yes, father," cried another woman, "we must get rid of them, we must indeed! I went to the parsonage yesterday and Mrs. Baldrian gave me some food, and the parson begged me to be patient.--Patient! Can starving folk be patient?"--"Joseph Smidt," said a tall slender young girl, "just run over to the Seeberg, will you, and look if they're coming. How our two young ladies will open their eyes, Sophie, when they find themselves sent off on such an unexpected journey!"--"Father," said Zorndt, a labourer, to Brinkmann, "oughtn't we to tell the parson what we're doing? Perhaps it might be well for us that he should know."--"No, father Zorndt, there's no need to tell him, he couldn't help us, and I don't think he would understand our motives. If our old parson were still alive it would be different!"--"They're coming now," cried Joseph Smidt running up. "Who'll speak?" asked Willgans, "I'll catch the leaders by the head."--"Rührdanz," was echoed from mouth to mouth. "Well if you like, why shouldn't I do it?" answered Rührdanz--not another word was said.
John Joseph, the coachman, drove up and was about to turn into the yard, when Willgans caught the leaders by the head, made them stand a little side ways so as to stop the other two horses, and said: "Wait a moment, John Joseph." Pomuchelskopp looked out of the window of the glass coach, and seeing all the villagers standing about the carriage, asked: "What's the meaning of all this?" Rührdanz, followed by all the others, came close to the carriage door, and said: "Sir, we've determined that you shall no longer be our master, for you've never treated us as a master should treat his servants, and you were every bit as cruel to other people before you came here, for you've got an iron ring round your neck, and we won't have a master with a ring round his neck."--"You rascals! You scoundrels!" cried Pomuchelskopp, who had now discovered what the villagers meant. "So you would seize upon me and mine, would you?"--"No, that's not what we want," answered old father Brinkmann, "we're only going to see you safely out of the place."--"Drive on, John Joseph," cried Pomuchelskopp. "Slash at them with your whip."--"John Joseph," said Willgans, "if you move your whip, we'll knock you down. Now turn the carriage!--So--ho--That's right!" The carriage and horses were now turned towards Rahnstädt. Sally and Mally screamed out with terror; Gustavus jumped down from the box and stood between the labourers and his father; everyone was in a great state of excitement, except Henny, who remained stiff straight and unbending as ever, without uttering a single word. "You band of robbers you! What do you want?" cried Pomuchelskopp. "We ar'n't robbers," answered Smidt, "none of us will steal even a pin from you, and Gustavus here may remain and manage the estate and tell us what we are to do."--"But your wife and two eldest daughters must go with you," interrupted Mrs. Kapphingst, "we can bear their tyranny no longer."--"Gently, friends, gently," said Rührdanz, "let us do everything decently and in order. It won't be enough to take them away over the Gürlitz march as we intended, we must hand them over to our chief magistrate, the mayor of Rahnstädt. I'm sure that that's the proper thing to do."--"Rührdanz is right," said the others, "and you may go home quietly Gustavus, no body will touch you. Now John Joseph, drive on slowly." Then some of the villagers went on one side of the carriage and some on the other, thus forming a guard. They went at a quick march like a regiment of soldiers. Pomuchelskopp had given way to the inevitable, but his misery was great. He wrung his hands and groaned: "Oh me! oh me! What shall I do? What shall I do?" and putting his head out at the window, he said: "I've always been a kind master to you all."--"You mean a cruel monster!" cried a voice out of the crowd. Sally and Mally were crying bitterly, but Henny sat as stiff as a tin thermometer; if the labourers had known what a thermometer was, and that I had likened her to one they would have said that she was marking a point far above boiling. Willgans who had at first been near the door on her side of the carriage, drew back a little, because she once, without uttering a sound or bending forward, stretched out her hand and seizing his curly red hair nearly pulled out a handful, her eyes shining and glaring in the dusk of the early morning like those of a beagle when chasing a hare. "Mercy! I say look at her!" cried Willgans. "Father Düsing! help!--Mercy! Look at the wretch! Do give her a knock over the knuckles." But before father Düsing could free him from her clutches, brave old Henny had thrust his nose down on the carriage door two or three times, so that the blood trickled down his face. "Mercy! Help I say! This is not to be borne; wait a bit and I'll ...."--"Stop!" cried Rührdanz, "you can't blame her, lad, for revenging herself according to the malice of her nature, so take no notice this time, but you can tell the Grand Duke all about it, and can show him your nose, which will bear witness to the way she has treated you." Henny said nothing, and the procession moved on again. When they reached the border of the estate the labourers sent their wives and children home, and about seven o'clock the prisoners and their guard entered Rahnstädt slowly and solemnly.
Uncle Bräsig was stretched out on the window seat in his room smoking, and meditating on the heroic deeds he had done on the previous evening.--Kurz was in a very bad humour although he had not been at the fraternity ball, and was going about his shop grumbling and scolding: "The stupid ass! The idiot! Wait till I catch him!" After a time he came, I mean Mr. Süssmann by "he." He danced over the threshold, and Kurz laying both hands on the counter looked as if he were preparing to jump over it and spring upon his assistant before he was well in the shop, but he thought better of it and waited. "Good morning, chief, chiefer, chiefest!" cried Mr. Süssmann, coming in with a clatter and rattle of everything in the shop that could make a noise, and seating himself on the edge of a herring barrel with his hat cocked very much on one side, went on: "Good morning, Kurzie, woortsie, poortsie!"--Before he had time to make any more rhymes on his master's name, Kurz sprang upon him, pulled his hair with both hands, flung his hat into the herring barrel, and then dragged him further into the shop by the whiskers. Mr. Süssmann clutched blindly behind him for something to hold on by, and chanced to seize the spigot of a barrel of oil, his struggles were so great that the spigot came out, and the oil began to run out of the hole.--"Hang it!" cried Kurz. "My oil, my oil!" and letting Mr. Süssmann go, he stuck the forefinger of his right hand into the hole in the barrel, Mr. Süssmann who still had the spigot in his hand, waived it round his head in triumph, and as mad or intoxicated people are always fertile in expedients, he determined to clinch the matter and so pulled the spigot out of the vinegar barrel. "Preserve us all! My vinegar!" cried Kurz, at the same time sticking the forefinger of his left hand into the hole in the vinegar barrel. In order to keep a finger in each of the barrels Kurz had to bend forward and to stretch out both arms to their utmost extent, and this Mr. Süssmann deemed too good an opportunity to be lost. "My chiefie!--Kurzie!"--slap!--"Good-bye grocerie-pocerie!"--slap! slap!--"Joanna goes, ne'er to come back again!"--slap, slap, slap!--Having done this, Mr. Süssmann picked his hat out of the herring barrel, set it on one side of his head, laid both the spigots on the counter about twenty feet away from Kurz, and then left the shop laughing and dancing.
"Help!" cried Kurz. "He-lp!--He--lp!" but not one of the servants was in the house, and his wife was out in the back garden planting asparagus. The only person who heard him was uncle Bräsig. "Charles," he said, "I think I hear Kurz bellowing. I'll go and see if anything has happened."--"He-lp!" shouted Kurz.--"Bless me!" said Bräsig. "Whatever are you making such a noise for at seven o'clock in the morning?"--"Infamous rascal!" growled Kurz.--"What? Is that the way to treat me?" remonstrated Bräsig.--"Meanspirited hound!"--"You're a rude barbarian!"--"Give me the spigots that are lying on the counter over there."--"You may get your nasty greasy spigots yourself, you ass you!"--"I can't, or else all the oil and vinegar will run out of these casks, and I wasn't talking to you, I was speaking to Süssmann."--"Ah, then it doesn't matter," said Bräsig, seating himself on the counter with a flop, and swinging his legs about, "what's the matter?"--Kurz explained how he had come to be imprisoned at the barrels.--"Well, Kurz, you're a joke, but take warning by what has happened, a man always suffers in the very things which he has used sinfully."--"I entreat ...."--"Hush, Kurz! You have always sinned in your sales of oil and vinegar, for you used to pour out of your measuring tins into your customer's basins with a swoop so as to leave two or three desert spoonfuls in the measure without anyone noticing it. Will you give good measure for the future, and will you never peep into the cards again when you're playing at Boston."--"Yes, yes," cried Kurz.--"Very well then, I'll set you free," said Bräsig, bringing him the spigots.
Scarcely was Kurz free than he rushed out into the street as though he expected to find Mr. Süssmann waiting for him behind the door. Bräsig followed him, and just as they reached the street Pomuchelskopp arrived on the scene escorted by his labourers.--"Preserve us! What's this? Rührdanz, what's the meaning of all this?"--"Don't be angry, Mr. Bräsig, we've turned off our squire."--Bräsig shook his head as he answered: "Then you've done a very foolish thing." He followed the procession and many people they met in the street did the same. When they got to the mayor's house, the labourers unharnessed the horses, while Rührdanz, Willgans, Brinkmann and several others went into the house.--"Well, Sir," said Rührdanz, "we've brought him here."--"Who?"--"Oh, our Mr. Pomuchelskopp."--"Why, what do you mean?"--"Oh, nothing, except that we won't have him to rule over us any longer."--"Good Heavens! What have you been about?"--"We've done everything legally, your worship."--"Have you laid violent hands on him?"--"No, we didn't touch him, but as for his wife, she seized father Willgans by the ...."--But the mayor had left the room, and was already at the carriage door asking the Pomuchelskopps to come in. They accepted his invitation and the mayor took them into the drawing-room.--"Why have we been treated so badly? Why have we been treated so badly?" whimpered Pomuchelskopp. "Oh, Mr. Mayor, you know that I've always been a good master to my people."--"For shame, Kopp," interposed Henny.--"No," said the mayor without attending to Henny and looking Pomuchelskopp full in the face, "you have not been a good master. You know that I have often been obliged to remonstrate with you about your conduct, you know that I refused to have anything to do with your law affairs because of the injustice of your cause. I'll have nothing to do with this except as a private individual, and what I do will be for the sake of those poor mistaken peasants. Pray, excuse me ...."--"Oh, please advise me. What shall I do?"--"You can't go back to Gürlitz for a short time; if you did it would only rouse the people to violence, so you'd better wait here in Rahnstädt till you see your way clear. Excuse my leaving you for a few minutes, I am going to speak to the labourers."
What good could talking do? The people had made up their minds, and the bad characters amongst them had been obliged to consent to let their quieter, honester neighbours have their own way, and they were so sure their way was the right one that they refused to give it up.--"No, Sir," said Rührdanz, "we can't take him back whatever happens."--"You have been guilty of a great crime this morning, and it'll go hard with you if you stick to it."--"That may be; but if you speak of crime, Mr. Pomuchelskopp has treated us much worse than we've treated him."--"You've allowed your heads to be stuffed with nonsense by some foolish people in the Reform-club."--"Don't be angry, your worship, people say that of us, but it isn't true. Why? Mr. Pomuchelskopp himself is a member of the Reform-club, and he made a speech too, but he told a string of lies in his speech, no one knows that better than we do."--"But what do you intend to do?"--"Mr. Gustavus is at Gürlitz and when he tells us to do this or that, we'll obey him; but Willgans and I want to go to the Grand Duke and tell him all about it, so we would like you to give us the proper papers."--"What sort of papers?"--"Ah, your worship, don't be angry with me, it doesn't matter what they are. You see I was once sent to the old station without papers--and of course they turned me out--our Grand Duke isn't a station, and he'd never be so rude, so if we go without papers you can show him your nose, father Willgans, and tell him how that woman treated you, and I'll show my honest hands that have never taken what didn't belong to them."--The old man then left the room, and joined the other labourers outside. They all felt their pockets and drew out what pence and halfpence they possessed. They gave them to Rührdanz and said: "Now go! go straight to Schwerin!" and: "Don't forget to tell about Kapphingst's daughter!" and: "If he asks you how we have lived, tell him honestly that we never stole from our master, but that we sometimes took a few of Mrs. Nüssler's potatoes, and she never blamed us."
The two labourers then set out for Schwerin, and the other villagers returned home, while John Joseph drove the empty carriage after them. The crowd that had collected round the mayor's door to see what was to be seen, for the news of Pomuchelskopp's arrest had spread like wild-fire, now separated, and uncle Bräsig said to Hawermann as soon as he got back: "Well, Charles, he hasn't escaped his judge. I joined the crowd for a little, not for his sake, but because of those poor ignorant labourers. As soon as I saw him safe in the mayor's house I came away for I didn't care to see his humiliation."
Pomuchelskopp, his wife and daughters took up their abode at Grammelin's and the former, when he saw his family settled down, went to Slus'uhr's bedroom and bemoaned his hard fate. Slus'uhr had been obliged to remain at Grammelin's in consequence of the thrashing he had had on the previous evening, as otherwise he could not have made out such a good case of assault against Bräsig. "I have sent for the doctor and am going to make him examine me that I may have a better case against Mr. Bräsig. Strump isn't at home, but the other doctor will be here very soon."--"How lucky you are!" said Muchel. "Well," answered the attorney, twisting round on his other side, "I didn't quite look upon it in that light. I don't see any great piece of luck in getting a sound thrashing with a black thorn stick at least an inch in thickness."--"You can have your revenge, while I--wretched man that I am, can do nothing."--"You should send for a guard of soldiers and that'll frighten your fellows out of their lives, and if you don't like to go home at once, send your wife on before, she'll have everything in order by the time you're ready to follow, I'll answer for that."--"Mercy, what do you propose? No, no! I've had enough of it. Pümpelhagen has escaped me, and I'll never go back to Gürlitz; they'll set fire to the house when I'm in it, I know they will. No, no! I'll sell, I'll sell!"--"Have you heard the news," asked David coming into the room, and hearing the last words he added, "yes, you're right. If you sell the place I'll manage everything for you, I know ...."--"Infamous Jewish rascal!" groaned Slus'uhr, getting into a new position, "Ugh! mercy!--Don't you think we can manage it between us? Yes, Mr. Pomuchelskopp, you must sell, for even if they spare the dwelling house, they're sure to burn the stacks and barns, for you've got into a regular scrape."--"Now, Mr. Slus'uhr," said David, "you've made a little money I know, and you can conduct the sale of a farm, or a mill; but this is a large estate, and my father must manage the arrangements for Mr. Pomuchelskopp."--"Your father! When he hears that it's for Pomuchelskopp, he'll refuse to act. We three are in very bad odour with him."--"If I tell him," began David, but at this moment the doctor came in, and he was Anna's father. "Good morning, you sent for me," he said turning to Slus'uhr, "what can I do for you?"--"Ah doctor, you were at the ball yesterday too. Oh I'm in such pain! You must have heard ...."--"He has had a good thrashing," said David, "and I was a witness. He was very severely beaten."--"Hold your confounded tongue," shouted Slus'uhr. "Doctor, I want you to examine me carefully, I'm afraid that I shall never regain the use of my limbs." The doctor made no reply, but went to his patient, and pulling his shirt off his back, saw some very distinct lines scored in red, such as are not to be seen on every human back. Pomuchelskopp sat still, and folded his hands in deep commiseration, but a flash of pleasure lighted up his face when he saw the red weals. David sprang to his feet: "Merciful Jehovah! What a sight!" he exclaimed. "You must examine me too, doctor, for Schulz the carpenter dragged me out from under the table and tore my new coat right down the middle."--"You'd better send for the tailor then," answered the doctor quietly, and turning again to the attorney, he said: "I'll go down to Grammelin's coffee-room and write you a certificate. Good morning, gentlemen." He then left the room, and soon afterwards the housemaid brought in a paper, which she said the doctor had desired her to take to Mr. Slus'uhr. The attorney opened it and read:
"This is to certify, that Mr. attorney Slus'uhr has had a thorough good thrashing as the marks on his back show beyond dispute, but it has done him no real harm.