“How in the world was I to know you had had your ears pulled and lengthened, brainless idiot?” began Oustiantsef, once more wrathfully addressing Chapkin, who, however, vouchsafed no attention to his companion’s obliging apostrophe.
“Well, who did pull your ears for you?” some one asked.
“Why, the police superintendent, by Jove, comrades! Our offence was wandering about without fixed place of abode. We had just got into K——, I and another tramp, Eptinie; he had no family name, that fellow. On the way we had fixed ourselves up a little in the hamlet of Tolmina; yes, there is a hamlet that’s got just that name—Tolmina. Well, we get to the town, and are just looking about us a little to see if there’s a good stroke of tramp-business to do, after which we mean to flit. You know, out in the open country you’re as free as air; but it’s not exactly the same thing in the town. First thing, we go into a public-house; as we open the door we give a sharp look all round. What’s there? A sunburnt fellow in a German coat all out at elbows, walks right up to us. One thing and another comes up, when he says to us:
“‘Pray excuse me for asking if you have any papers [passport] with you?’
“‘No, we haven’t.’
“‘Nor have we either. I have two comrades besides these with me who are in the service of General Cuckoo [forest tramps, i.e., who hear the birds sing]. We have been seeing life a bit, and just now haven’t a penny to bless ourselves with. May I take the liberty of requesting you to be so obliging as to order a quart of brandy?’
“‘With the greatest pleasure,’ that’s what we say to him. So we drink together. Then they tell us of a place where there’s a real good stroke of business to be done—a house at the end of the town belonging to a wealthy merchant fellow; lots of good things there, so we make up our minds to try the job during the night; five of us, and the very moment we are going at it they pounce on us, take us to the station-house, and then before the head of the police. He says, ‘I shall examine them myself.’ Out he goes with his pipe, and they bring in for him a cup of tea; a sturdy fellow it was, with whiskers. Besides us five, there were three other tramps, just brought in. You know, comrades, that there’s nothing in this world more funny than a tramp, because he always forgets everything he’s done. You may thump his head till you’re tired with a cudgel; all the same, you’ll get but one answer, that he has forgotten all about everything.
“The police superintendent then turns to me and asks me squarely,
“‘Who may you be?’