"If ye'll only save me loife,"

Sez he, "Oi'll give yez money,

An' a most attractive woife,

An' ye won't be in the menu

Ov me little dinner party

If ye'll only pull me round," sez he,

"An' make me sthrong an' hearty."

So Oi made a diagnosis

Wid my penknife an' some sthring

(Though Oi hadn't got a notion