IT had a capital sale,
Well reviewed by the Times and D.T.,
And a great many more,
So my friends by the score
Came around to congratulate me.
IT had a capital sale
And people I scarcely had met,
Just “dropped in” to afternoon tea;
While my aunt, who’s a swell,
Now remembered quite well
That I was related to she.
And girls that were rich and plain,
Or pretty and poor, did agree
To let me suppose
That I’d but to propose
To be m-a-r-r-i-e-d.
my friends all turned tail
Yes, HE published IT in the Spring,
That season of frolic and glee;
“In the Autumn,” HE said,
Gravely nodding his head,
“‘Half-profits’ will mean L.S.D.”
But Autumn has come and gone,
And I’m so to say, “All at sea,”
For HE sobs and HE sighs
And HE turns up his eyes
When I ask what my “half-profits” be.
There are “charges for this, and for that,”
And for “things that HE couldn’t foresee,”
And HE “very much fears,”
So he says twixt his tears,
“That there won’t be a penny for me.”