Sir John, en attendant, could do nothing more than pray, “God give me a just cause, and a just Judge!”
He was not kept long in suspense. On December 28th—a fortnight after his audience—the Aga despatched to Aleppo returned bringing with him 1000 dollars as a sample, and within two hours of his arrival the Ambassador was invited to assist at the trial in the courtyard before the Divan. He hurried to the scene, attended by his Dragomans, the Treasurer of the Levant Company, and some of the English merchants. There he found everything ready, and all the principal Officers of State waiting: the Tefterdar, the Kehayah, the Chaoush-bashi, the Chief Customer, the Master of the Mint, the Dragoman of the Porte, and several others; the Grand Vizir himself watched the performance from a window—not openly, but just “peeping out.”
Decorum was the order of the day. As soon as the Ambassador appeared, a seat was brought for him, and he sat down upon it for a moment to assert his right; but, seeing that all those Ministers of State stood, he rose too and sat no more—a courtesy which, as he was afterwards informed, “was kindly taken by them.” Meanwhile, the sample, in eight bags of 125 dollars each, was shown to him, sealed up as it had left Aleppo with the Consul’s and Cadi’s seals; and the test commenced. Two hundred and fifty dollars were taken out. Young Dollars, fresh from your Maker’s hands, what destiny awaits you? Are you pure and innocent, or born in sin? All eyes are fixed upon them, spell-bound with hope and fear. They are melted down—refined—the silver that is in them is carefully weighed.... But we must not go into details. On the whole, the result seems satisfactory, and our friends go away in high spirits.
The Dutch raise a mighty and malicious clamour: your dollars are 7 per cent below the standard—we know all about them. Were they not coined at Kampen? Here is a “Placart” sent to our Resident by the States, wherein you may read, and the Turks may read, in a translation we have taken good care to make for their edification, that “certain false Lyon Dollars coynd’ at Campen this year were prohibited, and that orders was given to enquire after the Persons that coynd’ that false mony, whose punishment was to be boyld’ in oyl.” Let the Grand Vizir release them, if he pleases, no Dutchman will take any of them. A studied revenge, Sir John believed, for a like boycott by the English Factory of Smyrna, which had banished all the Dutch new dollars out of the country. Thus cry out the Hollanders, and others, whom Sir John could name if High Diplomacy did not forbid. Notwithstanding these ill-offices of “our back friends,” the English persisted in their optimism that night; then came the awakening.
Next morning Hussein Aga sent for Sir John’s Dragoman and the Levant Company’s Treasurer, to inform them by order that the Grand Vizir considered their dollars bad and had determined to fetch the whole lot from Aleppo, melt it down, and return them the silver.... A very sore stroke—most stunning in its unexpectedness. What they said to the Customer we are not informed. But the Customer, after putting them in a fright and enjoying their emotions, hinted to them that the catastrophe might be averted—the Vizir was not implacable: he could be mollified.
Kara Mustafa, without a doubt, felt much disappointed by the result of the trial. He had made sure that the money was defective, and had counted on gobbling up the lot: otherwise he would hardly have given himself the trouble of a public test. Hence his need of consolation. The emollient suggested was 12,500 dollars for the Vizir, and 2500 for his Kehayah: in all, 15,000 dollars. Could we refuse such a trifle to a lenient Judge in want of cash?
Sir John called a meeting of the Factory, at which it was unanimously decided to give the Vizir his due without delay: else the merchants calculated that the loss would be nearly thrice as much—to say nothing of the expense of getting the molten silver out of Kara Mustafa’s grasp. Accordingly the Ambassador sent to Hussein Aga word that “the least mischiefe being the most eligible, Wee were resolvd’ to comply with the Visir. Upon which promise, what doe you imagine they did?” They instituted a second trial, conducted before the same high dignitaries, with the same publicity, and palpably with a view to finding a favourable verdict: so that the release of the money might appear as the effect of justice, not of bribery. Ten ancient Lion dollars—some of them aged 106 years—were produced as a pattern, and, after being melted down, came out with a proportion of pure silver equal to or even smaller than ours; which was not to be wondered at, considering the attrition they had undergone in the course of their long career. This done, the Judges solemnly reported to the Grand Vizir that the new money was quite as good as, if not indeed better than, the old!
One might have thought that a termination of their trials which fell so much short of the hopes of their ill-wishers, would have been welcomed by our countrymen with thankfulness. But, glad as they were to have got off so cheaply, they imagined, in the simplicity and cupidity of their souls, that they might get off more cheaply still—thereby very nearly spoiling the comedy. Mr. North and Sir John’s Dragoman went to Hussein Aga and pleaded for a remission, or at least an abatement, of the fine they had agreed to pay. “What fault was committed,” they asked, “since our Dollars had proved as good as the old ones?” Not without humour, the Customer replied, “As to fault, it was no small one in these times to bring in 200,000 Dollars at a clap.” “But,” they insisted, “they have been found as good as the old ones.” This was too much even for the friendly Hussein. He retorted angrily that they owed that finding to the bakshish they had promised. However, if they were not satisfied, he would cancel the bargain and leave them to make a new one with the Grand Vizir as well as they could.
The rebuke brought our friends to their senses. Without another word they parted with their 15,000 dollars, besides 1000 which the Turks wanted for the Aga who had fetched the sample; and, in return, they got back what remained unmelted of the sample, together with the melted silver. Here ended the comedy—no, not quite. The Pasha of Aleppo, before letting the treasure go out of his grip, squeezed the merchants to the tune of 4000 dollars, “which,” Mr. North wistfully observes, “was more than at first would have done the business with him.”[206] It was not the first, or the last, time our Turkey Merchants went near to losing the ship for the sake of a ha’p’orth of tar.