“Not knowing anything of the desperado’s power of self-control my own self-possession was hard to maintain—I imagined that his fingers were a little trembly, as though he were tempted to pull the trigger and have done with it, but was struggling with himself in the effort to restrain the savage impulse. I mentally resolved that I would neither do nor say anything which should disturb his poise or ruffle his equanimity.
“Ugh! I could actually hear the rush of the displaced air and impelling gases as the bullets started from their hiding places in the breeches of those mighty pistols and, swifter than lightning, flew toward me. I even fancied I could feel the impact of the cruel missiles with my flesh, and the moist warmth of the escaping blood as they rent my skin and muscles.
“Our hands being elevated to an angle which was satisfactory to the spokesman of the bandits, he turned to his companion and said:
“‘Go through ’em, Bob, and hustle it up. The train’ll be here before we can say Jack Robinson. Take that feller with the whiskers an’ spectacles first. Easy, now, gents; take your medicine, and don’t you bat an eye—if you don’t want a hole plugged through ye big enough for a cat to crawl into without bloodyin’ her whiskers.’
“The fellow who was officiating as lieutenant for the gentleman with the artillery was a tough-looking proposition for his inches, but such a little runt that even the moral suasion of the 45’s did not blunt the edge of my humiliation when he proceeded to ‘go through’ me.
“But the ignominy and shame of my embarrassing position had not yet reached the climax. I was raging inwardly and wishing that I could have a fair field and no favor with either or both of the bandits—I used to be pretty handy myself, you know—but I did not lose my self-control during the dextrous and speedy search of my person. A pair of walloping big guns is a great inhibitor of the warlike spirit.
“I had not collected my fee in the gunshot case, hence the process of ‘going through’ me was not very productive of spoils. My pockets were as empty of cash as those of a lamb after a busy day on ‘Change. A Waterbury watch, about two dollars in small change, a not very elaborate set of surgical instruments, a jack-knife, a bunch of keys, my wife’s photograph, and an annual pass on the St. Paul road constituted my available assets.
“The robber was simply furious when he took account of stock. Dashing the stuff upon the floor he ripped out:
“‘D—n you for a no account cuss, anyhow! I’ll just give you one for luck.’
“With this the ruffian suddenly caught me by the shoulders and, wheeling me to the right about, kicked me full upon the pride center! What little weight the fellow had was in that kick and I recollect that the hurt to my anatomy and the still greater injury to my self-respect was not unmingled with surprise. I never before knew how hard such a little chap could kick. It was like a blow from a hydraulic ram. It jarred me so that a plate with several false upper teeth was dislodged from my mouth, and fell upon the floor.