“I saw that McDougall was in earnest, and assured him as I bade him good-bye that I would be on hand for the ceremony. But, all the same, I didn’t mean a word of it. I had had about all the experience with hangings, both as witness and prospective principal, that was necessary to satisfy a man of my modest desires. Why, I had myself actually been mentally hanged and nearly physically hanged simultaneously. Besides, as I have already said, I liked McDougall.
“The execution came off according to schedule, and I was greatly consoled by the report that the sheriff, was, as McDougall expressed it, decidedly ‘on to his job.’ Indeed, I was told that the hanging was as smooth a piece of work as had ever occurred in Minnesota. So smooth was it, and so agreeable to the sentiments of the population of that section of the State, that the re-election of Sheriff Jackson was a foregone conclusion. All of which shows that the artist in his particular line is not without appreciation, and that the executioner, unlike the prophet, getteth honor in his own country.
“There were no friends to claim the body of the dead outlaw, and it finally found its way to the M—— Medical College. The demonstrator of anatomy, who chanced to be a warm friend of mine, knew the circumstances under which I had become acquainted with the late Mr. McDougall, and reasoning that I would be very glad to receive a souvenir commemorative of the strenuous introduction to that distinguished gentleman which I had received, dissected the head with especial care, and after thorough preparation and skillful bleaching sent the gruesome object to me with his compliments. Since the reception of the skull my lamented friend in material bone and ethereal spirit has been the presiding genius of my den—a friend in whom I have full confidence, because I can trust him, and an enemy whom I no longer dread, because I have him where all of our enemies should be placed—in a collection of curios. Rather a nice skull, isn’t it?”
A WISE CHILD
I was enjoying my after dinner cigar, and thinking, with some amusement, of a remark my little daughter had made. During the afternoon she had been taken by a party of my friends to a museum—a great treat for her, as she is of an inquiring turn of mind. Among the curiosities and freaks on exhibition, was a poor fellow who was afflicted with some nervous affection that impelled him to keep constantly in motion. The child was especially impressed with the fact that the man was unable to sit down. The grown-up folks of the party were greatly puzzled by the curious phenomenon—not so my hopeful. Looking at him carefully and with an expression of most profound pity for a few moments, she exclaimed, “Poor man! What an awful lot of spankings he must have had when he was a little boy!”
“A WISE CHILD”
“Well,” I thought, “children are keen observers after all. It might be interesting to read the thoughts of some of them. Now, there’s that Smith baby for example—what a wise expression it has, to be sure! Really, that child ought to be called Solomon. I would suggest the name to pater familias, only he might get frightened at the mere suggestion of such wisdom on the part of his offspring.”
As a matter of fact, the Smith child is the most remarkable specimen of a young one I have ever seen. He is now some three years of age, yet has never made the slightest attempt to talk. As for walking, I question whether the child will ever be able to use his limbs very successfully. They are malformed and very imperfectly developed. But the child’s head has gone to the other extreme; while by no means symmetrical in outline, it is preternaturally large, with bulging frontal eminences and immense parietal protuberances. The eyes are brilliant, deep set, and reflect an expression of wise gravity that is positively eerie. The brow is wrinkled in strongly marked furrows and the general aspect of the face is somewhat shrivelled and prematurely old. Around the angles of the mouth are converging, plainly accentuated lines that give the face an expression of sternness. There is no color in the skin save about the eyelids, which are habitually red and tumefied. The dead, clayey whiteness of the child’s complexion is occasionally relieved by dark, blotchy eruptions, that make the unhealthy pallor of the skin still more noticeable.