As usual at this hour I am alone in the laboratory. It is barely possible that Professor A. may return to-night. I fancy he did not quite finish that experiment to-day. It would be embarrassing if he should come in before I had passed clear through the door. With that narcotic there would be great danger of such a mishap. I want to acquit myself at least as creditably as did that man of whom my friend Dr. X.—Great Charon! the very thing. There should be a bottle of cyanide somewhere upon the shelves—
How very awkward! Who could have misplaced that bottle? I thought I knew just where to put my hand upon it. Well, there’s no use fretting about it, to-morrow I will—Ah, now I think of it, there’s a vial of anhydrous prussic acid in that little drawer in A.’s desk, and I have a key!
* * * * *
I fancy I can do the work much more artistically than did X.’s patient. I will take the narcotic in its most elegant and concentrated form, instead of that beastly tincture. I hate nauseous medicines. As for the prussic acid, I will use a hypodermic. Fortunately there is one yonder, in the room for animal experimentation. I will take the morphia first, and when it begins to act, I will get the syringe. There will be plenty of time.
How simple; just a tongue coating of powder—a mere fleeting dash of bitter—a draught of water and—so far the narcotic. Now, to await results.
* * * * *
How exhilarating the primary effects of opium. How easy to chronicle one’s impressions. How I can write! No wonder that De Quincey—; I seem to be in a brighter sphere. It is as though the air of the laboratory had turned to pure oxygen. What strength I feel! What mighty deeds could I not accomplish now? How large and vivid the gas lights are. There is an aureola of secondary glow about each of them. I would experiment with them to-morrow if— What music is that? Is it not beautiful? Why, I know that air—it is one my mother used to sing when I was a little lad—I remember how my dear little sister used to—But how faint the strains are now. And the lights are growing dim. It will soon be dark. My chair is rocking, too. How soothing and sensuous the motion seems. How drowsy I am getting—I must take that hypodermic before I get too sleepy.
There, that shows what will power can do. Some men would have gone to sleep and forgotten the rest of their plans. How orderly and systematic A. is, to be sure. No rummaging around in the drawer amid a confusion of things to find the prussic. How tight the stopper is. There, now I have it. Pshaw! I’ve spilled half of it on the floor and cut my fingers. How clumsy and numb my fingers are, and how hot and fiery this blood is. How delightful the prussic smells.
Just a drop—the morphia will combine with it and neutralize it. The drugs will neutralize each other just sufficiently to give me plenty of time, and I shall still be able to write. Here, in my thigh—just here— Ah! My God! too m—.