“She fell down upon her knees and wept: it seemed to be so difficult for her to surrender me; and it was equally severe for me, for I was tenderly attached to her. The husband’s discovery had been startling news: I had not dreamt that Valliere had suspected us; it only remained for us now to say farewell,—a sad word to be spoken at any time, but most particularly in an affair of the heart: it was some minutes before I could calm her sufficiently to speak, and then she only spoke of her fault, her unhappiness, and her jealous dread of my loving some other better than herself.
“‘Oh, you will not entirely forget me, will you, Rinaldo? Although hereafter we shall never see each other, you will sometimes think of me; think how unhappy I am; how unwise I have been; but do not despise my weakness; do not think of me with contempt, perhaps, at some future day, when you may love a woman of sterner virtue than myself.’
“‘Dear lady, I can never think of you with any other sentiment than admiration. What is there to contemn in one so beautiful and amiable? We have erred unwittingly; if any is to blame, it is myself, not you. May God, who sees all things, forgive me if I have caused you a moment’s pain.’
“‘It is very hard to say farewell forever,’ she kept repeating, as she hung upon my hand; ‘but it must be said,’—and after mutual sighs, regrets, tears, and kisses, I sorrowfully tore myself away. She fell fainting on a sofa as I left the saloon, and I brushed tears from my own cheeks as I rushed down the marble terrace steps of her elegant abode.
“My feelings were wild, incoherent, and bitter,—yes, bitter as wormwood, for none but honorable loves yield satisfaction and repose to the soul. I regretted ever having come to Paris, or ever having crossed the bright pathway of so young and innocent a creature; but her husband would still countenance and love her. She was not abandoned or cast away to neglect or shame; that was a great consolation to me; and trusting that her gay and child-like disposition would interest itself in the world, and that new associations would obliterate me from her memory, I became calmed, and returned to my ordinary pursuits.
“Not long after, I received news of my brother’s death, at Tunis. He had been shot in a duel. The cause of the encounter was not explained. My two brothers were both dead, and I became heir to my father’s estate.
“Francois and myself had never been sufficiently alike in disposition to become tenderly attached. Nevertheless, I regretted his death, as one is in duty to the laws of nature bound to do. Rumor said the charming Madame Anacharsis Valliere had withdrawn from all gay society, and lived entirely in the country. Her health was said to be declining. This was some months after our separation; and possessing the clue to her new love of solitude, I was vain enough to attribute her ennui to sad reminiscences of me.
“I had now been in Paris two years, when I suddenly resolved, one day, to go home, and if my father treated me with such incivility as to render a long residence disagreeable, I could, in that case, return to Paris. I had lost much of the wildness I had brought to the city, and had sobered down. My old friend, the lawyer, had proved himself to be a real friend to me, notwithstanding some lingering traces of youthful vanity. Small foibles are, however, forgiveable when counterbalanced by other good qualities; and I was grateful to him for his kindness. He advised me to stay and pursue the practice of the law. But yielding to some strange presentiment, which bade me go, I promised him soon to return, and set off.
“I arrived at the castle after twilight had deepened into sombre night. A dense forest of lindens surrounded the old homestead of my childhood, on one side of the building, for more than a mile; and riding through the thicket of trees had, perhaps, pre-disposed me to sadness, for I certainly felt so, when I arrived. No porter was, as usual, at the lodge, and the gardens bore evidence of neglect. I rode on; passed the drawbridge, and dismounting, left the horse to find his way alone to the stables. I went into the inner court of the castle, through the massive gateway, and after traversing that, into the servants’ hall. None of the domestics were there. I was amazed at this; for among the numerous attendants my father was want to keep around him, surely some of them would be at their posts. Everything looked so familiar, that even the old wainscotting seemed to welcome me back.