“You have been in the wars!” sneered one guest. “Or the amphitheatre!” echoed another. “’Tis a love-token from Chloe!” laughed a third. “Or a remembrance from Lydia!” added a fourth. “Nay,” interposed Montanus, “our friend is too experienced a campaigner to come off second-best with a foe of that description. There must have been a warm [pg 110]encounter to leave such traces as those. She must have been a very Amazon, Spado, that could maul thee thus.”
The eunuch looked from one to another of his tormentors with rather an evil smile. He well knew, however, that any appearance of annoyance would add tenfold to the ridicule which he must make up his mind to undergo, and that the best way for a man to turn a jest, even when to his own disadvantage, is to join in it himself; so he glanced at the Emperor, took a long draught of red Falernian, and assumed a face of quaint and good-humoured self-commiseration.
“Talk not to me of Amazons,” said he, whereat there was a general laugh. “Tell me not of Chloes, and Lydias, and Lalages, and the rest. What’s a Helen of Troy compared to a flask of this red Falernian? Why good wine gets better the longer you keep it, while woman loses her flavour year by year. ’Faith, if you only wait till she is old enough, she becomes very sour vinegar indeed. Even in the first flush of her beauty, I doubt whether any of you in your hearts think she is worth the trouble of catching. Still, you know, a man likes to look at a pretty face. Mine had not otherwise been so disfigured now. I had an adventure on that score but two nights ago. Would Cæsar like to hear it?”
Cæsar gave a nod and a grunt that signified acquiescence. Thus encouraged, Spado went on—
“It was the feast of Isis. I was coming from the worship of the goddess, and the celebration of those sacred rites, which may not be disclosed to the vulgar and the profane—mysteries too holy to be mentioned, save to pure and virgin ears.” Here the countenance of Montanus assumed an expression that made even Cæsar smile, and caused the rest to laugh outright. “The procession was returning filled with inspiration from the goddess. The acolytes leaping and dancing in the van, the priests marching majestically under her symbols, and some of the noblest matrons in Rome bringing up the rear. The noblest and the fairest,” repeated Spado, glancing round him complacently. “I name no names; but you all know that ours is not a vulgar worship, nor an illiberal creed.”
Here Placidus stirred somewhat uneasily on his couch, and buried his face in his cup.
“The Roman people have ever paid the highest honours to our Egyptian goddess,” proceeded the eunuch; “we lack the support of the plebeian no more than the worship of the patrician. Thus we flourish and drain draughts of plenty from the silver udders of our sacred cow. Well, they made [pg 111]way for us in the streets, both men and women—all but one slender girl dressed in black, who, coming quickly round a corner, found herself in the midst of us, and seemed too frightened to move. In another minute she would have been trampled to death by the crowd, when I seized hold of her in order to draw her into a place of safety while they passed.”
“Or to see what sort of a face she hid under her black hood?” interrupted Montanus.
“Not so,” replied the narrator, though obviously gratified by the impeachment. “Such follies I leave to senators, and statesmen, and soldiers. My object was simply to afford her my protection. I had better have plucked a nettle with my naked hand. The girl screamed and struggled as if she had never looked in a man’s face before.”
“She was frightened at your beard,” said one of the freedmen, looking at Spado’s smooth fat face. The latter winced, but affected not to hear. “Coax a frightened woman,” said he, “and frighten an angry one. I flatter myself I know how to deal with them all. The girl would have been quiet enough had I been let alone; when just as she began to look kindly in my face, up comes an enormous barbarian, a hideous giant with waving yellow hair, and tries to snatch the maiden by main force from my grasp. I am a strong man, as you may perhaps have observed, my friends, and a fierce one when my blood is up. I showed fight. I struck him to the earth. He rose again with redoubled fury, and taking me at a disadvantage while I was protecting the girl, inflicted this injury on my face. I was stunned for an instant, and he seized that opportunity to make his escape. Well for him that he did so. Let him keep out of the way if he be wise. Should he cross my path again, he had better be in Euchenor’s hands than mine; I will show him no mercy;” and Spado quaffed off his wine and squared his fat shoulders with the air of a gladiator.