Talbot Edwards, though Assistant-Keeper on a fixed salary, had failed for years to draw this salary from an impoverished Exchequer. When this was represented to King Charles by Sir Gilbert Talbot, that happy-go-lucky monarch remarked that if there was no money in the Exchequer naturally Talbot Edwards could get nothing out of it, but, he added, the old man might exhibit the Crown Jewels to the public, charging them such fees as he thought that each visitor might be inclined to pay. Amongst this paying public came Parson Blood, accompanied by a respectable-looking female who passed as Mrs. Blood. But just going in and looking at the Jewels, and paying a fee, would not further Blood’s designs. He would be on no more intimate terms with the Assistant-Keeper than hundreds of others; moreover, there would be no reasonable excuse for coming a second time to see the Crown Jewels. This being so, the temporary Mrs. Blood whilst viewing the Jewels had the misfortune to be suddenly seized with “a qualme upon her stomack,” and in faint tones called upon the distressed Mr. Edwards for some spirits. This the old man hastily procured, and the invalid found herself so far recovered as to be able to go upstairs and lie down for further recuperation on Mrs. Edward’s bed.
Having recovered both from the qualme and the potency of the spirits, the loving couple departed, profusely thanking their kind hosts. Having thus paved the way, Parson Blood came again three or four days later bringing four pair of white gloves—a very handsome present in those days, and indeed in these—from the temporary Mrs. Blood to the permanent Mrs. Edwards. With the gloves came overflowing messages of gratitude which Blood delivered. Indeed, so grateful was he that he made repeated visits to renew his protestations. Blood thus became a familiar figure in the Tower, and a well-known and honoured visitor of the Assistant-Keeper.
When, however, this theme of eternal gratitude was in danger of becoming tiresome, Blood conceived a new device for continuing and accentuating the friendship. Apparently the temporary Mrs. Blood had spent her nights and days in trying to devise some means for requiting Mr. and Mrs. Edwards for the potent and healing draught supplied by them, as well as for the heavenly slumber as a result enjoyed on their connubial couch. After severe and constant wrestling with the spirit, this worthy lady had now come to the conclusion that as Mr. Edwards had “a pretty gentlewoman to his daughter,” whilst she herself had (an entirely imaginary) nephew with a fortune of two or three hundred a year, a match might well be arranged between the two.
Both Mr. and Mrs. Edwards thought this an exceedingly good plan, and Miss Edwards like a good girl had not the least doubt about it. Parson Blood was therefore asked to dinner so that the project might be more fully discussed. At this meal he impressed his hosts by the piety and devotion with which he said grace, though to more critical souls it may have seemed strange that in addition to the usual benedictions he wandered off into long prayers for the King, the Queen, and all the Royal Family.
But with all this by-play Blood did not lose sight of the main object in view, which was to purloin the Crown Jewels. Therefore in the room upstairs, noticing a handsome pair of pistols on the wall, he concluded that it would be just as well if these were out of the way on the auspicious day. Thereupon promptly inventing a young Lord to whom he was most anxious to present exactly such a handsome case of pistols as these, he purchased them off Mr. Edwards and carried them away. On leaving he blessed the company in the best canonical manner, and fixed a day and hour on which he was to bring the opulent but fictitious nephew to be introduced to his future wife.
The day fixed was May 9th, 1671, and the hour 7 a.m. This was a very suitable hour for Blood’s real purpose, but why Mr. Edwards and still less his daughter should consent to so untimely an hour for the first meeting of two lovers is not quite clear. On the destined day, therefore, and at the time arranged, a clerical gentleman accompanied by three friends made their way into the Tower, and passing under the Bloody Tower left the White Tower on their right, and crossing the parade ground knocked at the door of the Martin Tower. Had the guard suspected and searched these early visitors they would have found a rapier blade in each walking-stick, a dagger in each belt, and a couple of pistols in the pockets of each.
COLONEL BLOOD STEALING THE CROWN AND ORB
Old Mr. Edwards was up and ready to receive his guests and met them at the door, but Miss Edwards esteemed it more modest to remain in the upper regions till the impatient lover demanded her descent. She, however, sent down her maid to take stock of the gallant and to bring her up news of his general appearance and bearing. Blood with two of his companions entered with Mr. Edwards, leaving the third on some excuse or other as a look-out at the door. The look-out man, being the youngest and comeliest of the band, was at once conceived by the maid to be the suitor, and having cast a brief but critical eye on him she dashed upstairs to tell her mistress what a fine fellow he was.
Whilst awaiting the appearance of the ladies Blood suggested to Edwards that he might fill the interval by showing his friends the Crown Jewels. The old man readily consented, and unlocking the door of the treasure chamber ushered in his guests, and then in accordance with his standing orders locked the door behind him. This was exactly the situation which Blood had so carefully worked up to. A locked isolated chamber, with three able-bodied men fully armed on one side, a feeble unarmed man nearly eighty years old on the other, and the Crown Jewels of England the spoil of the victor in this unequal contest. Without wasting further time they knocked Mr. Edwards on the head with a wooden mallet brought for that purpose amongst others, gagged him, and left him lying on the floor for dead. Though only stunned Edwards pretended to be dead, but heard or saw most of what followed.